Seldom will anything break your heart as easily as the sight of your child in unbelievable emotional pain... and what greater pain is there to a child than the tragic loss of a parent. Though it has been many years since his death, my daughter still experiences bouts of sadness because Daddy is not here anymore.

Sometimes I feel really sorry for my family. They are the unfortunate souls who have to listen to my bellyaching on any given day.

The answer to the question of when you should begin the intensely personal part of your Healing Journey known as the 'go-through' is quite simple.

Most people in the world are afraid of dying, which is not exactly what you would call an irrational fear. However, many people are so afraid of dying that they do not even want to discuss death, which, uncomfortable as this discussion may be, is downright irresponsible.

Although certainly not among the most enthralling subjects, dealing with financial fall-out after the loss of a spouse is undoubtedly among the most important. While almost everything else on a widowed's to-do list can wait, the importance of setting financial and legal transition into immediate motion cannot be overstated.

Rest assured, I would certainly never advise anyone to talk down to his or her parents. Why I chose to address the issue is simple: Sex is different today than it was in the past and it will continue to change with the times.

Many years ago your mom or dad probably had 'the talk' with you. Perhaps over your teen and young-adult years your parent(s) initiated many talks about love, dating, sex and the selection of a life partner. Now, as the adult child of an aging parent, you may find the tables have turned,

I must have had a very confused look on my face when it happened. It was the same look that I have seen on our cat when she sees a talking parrot in the waiting room of the veterinarian's office.

Although it may be tempting to do otherwise, do not choose to dwell on the unfairness of your widowhood. The unfairness is a given, however dwelling on the unfairness will not take you in the healing direction that you wish to travel.

I can think of a lot of things that need filling up at one time or another. Some of those things might include: A bank account, a gas tank, a martini glass. Now... do you know what definitely does not need 'filling'? Somebody else's shoes.

Sometimes all we need is for just one person who has walked the same path to quietly and gently say, "It really is OK..."

Twelve years. An entire lifetime ago. Whether by plane, car, ship, train or other means, most of us have taken a long trip of one kind or another. While in the midst of traveling, our habit tends to be to constantly check the time or the mileage to determine how far we have to go until we get 'there,' wherever 'there' happens to be.

A really appalling thought recently occurred to me. I would even go so far as to call it an epiphany.

They were two men. I was wife to one and daughter to the other. They were two separate, distinct and unbearably difficult losses. I recognized and grieved those two losses as such. All grief is not the same.

I have always taken great umbrage at anyone criticizing, questioning or opining on how the widowed handle their grief and their highly individual and intensely personal healing journeys. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of it going on.

After all I’d seen, all I’d done and failed to do, I couldn’t imagine having the will again to take on responsibility for another person. The idea that I might stand before my friends in a white dress and pledge to love someone else in sickness and in health? Unthinkable.

The widowed community generally spends a lot of time talking about how much late spouses are missed. Not only is this completely and totally normal, it is also a welcome catharsis and a necessary factor in moving through the grieving process. But do you ever miss 'you' as well?

It is a sad reality that after losing a spouse, many widowed are the victims of accusation, criticism and actual blame. Whether it comes from the outside (relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc.) or is instead self-imposed, there is a lot of unnecessary pain being inflicted on the widowed.

I am delighted to present to you 10 widowed resolutions for your happy new year. These resolutions are meant to bring you peace, comfort and most of all, ownership of both your Healing Journey and ultimately, your life.

Please do not look at others in the widowed community and compare your progress (or what you may perceive to be a lack thereof). Your healing journey is not a competition, and it is certainly not a race to some imaginary finish line.

Many people in the midst of loss or facing a life challenge at this time of year have questions about coping with the holidays. How do you handle the holidays, especially if you don't feel like handling them at all? Read on for answers and a few great holiday suggestions.

The moment has arrived to call a time-out in the game of "My Pain is Worse Than Your Pain." It is indeed time for a Widow-tude Adjustment; both within and outside the widowed community.

I now reluctantly welcome you to Part One of a game that I despise; a game called, "My Pain is Worse Than Your Pain."

You have read it in newspapers, you have seen it in obituaries or heard it at funerals and you have certainly heard it on the news many times -- you may even actually say it yourself.