Can you please start wearing nicer bras so you don't end up almost 40 years old with a "lingerie" drawer full of Champion sports bras from Target? Please do some leg work; you are going to get busier later in life. Don't make Old Christie do everything.

She's 87. Of course 31 seems young to her...she'd put in a whole 56 years between now and her 31st birthday. But didn't she know my super-cool life -- the life I'd always aspired to -- was over?

Whether you are a teen or over 60, your body undergoes constant physical change. And as these changes occur, they evoke a set of emotional responses that relate not only to your age, but to the circumstances associated with your stage of life.

As 9 million people underwent cosmetic procedures last year, I did something else: I hung out with older women.

So, next time you meet someone new, remember to be aware of your actions and aware of how said actions can impact others.

"I have a problem with the cover. She looks so young! It's like we're showing favoritism." It was at this point, dear reader, that the whistle was deployed.

I'm not one of those girls who dreads -- or even pretend to dread -- turning a year older. So why does this year feel different?

As a professional woman (as opposed to an amateur woman, apparently), I can assure you, from the bottom of my follicles: Your career success will have absolutely zero to do with how long or short your hair is.

I recently left New York City and met some amazing people, most particularly a refreshing breed of woman very different from those on the trendy coasts.

I've decided that I'm not going to judge any photographs of me. Even the ones where my arm flesh looks like marbled beef.

I have a plan to combat aging: Don't put glasses on while looking in the mirror, thank god for making my eyes go first and thank Nora Ephron for teaching me how to laugh about it all!

Why is being perceived as pretty so important to me? Is it because at some point we girls, who believed our intelligence was the key factor to success, were led astray?

I'm not perfect, but I'm doing the right things for the right reasons. In other words, I'm 30, and I've earned it.

It occurs to me: maybe one of the reasons certain milestone birthdays are so scary for younger women is the assumptions they make about the women who have already reached them.

There may be ageless, perfectly fit people out there who've never had a thing done, but I don't want to know them. I'm interested in the women who admit their beauty requires Herculean tasks.

Another year is another opportunity to step or dance toward a better version of yourself and those little marks of humanity -- that's humility. I call it Ageless Beauty and that's worth fighting for.

To my surprise, I left the theater completely uninterested in fair Snow, and fascinated with the Wicked Queen and what the character's contemporary reincarnation was saying about how women think about the aging process now.

God, I am exhausted and I haven't even started. At my age, your knees creak, you feel constantly tired, your features start sliding down your face, yo...

Some say we get the face we deserve as we age, but I think it's more we get the face of the life we've lived.

Is buying Spanx buying into an oppressive ideal? Does dabbling in fillers make one a tool of the patriarchy?