Below is a portion of the transcript from last night's vice-presidential debate. I replaced any reference to homosexual relationships with references to interracial relationships. Just to see -- as a straight, black woman -- how it would feel if they were talking about me.

IFILL: Governor, would you support expanding...

Rev. Jackson, are you kidding me? You want to "cut [Barack Obama's] nuts off" for "talking down" to black people? You are criticizing him for calling absent and neglectful black fathers to task and challenging them to acknowledge, raise, and proudly love the children they created from the day they...

I love everything about the Olympics. The theater, the pomp and circumstance, the tragic back-story video packages -- all of it hits me in a fuzzy red, white, and blue place that bubbles brightly to the surface when world records are at stake. It is basically porn for patriots.

I...

Oh my God, Lisa, your wedding was awesome! Thank you so much for inviting me. I'm gonna hit the highway before traffic--

What's that? Oh no, no. Not at all tedious like Cara's wedding. I found the thirty-minute slideshow both engaging and topical. I'll see you arou--

Bored? You mean,...

In honor of Women's History Month, I propose a temporary moratorium on the following seven sins.

In no particular order:

HATING ON SUCCESSFUL WOMEN "JUST BECAUSE" - You can't like everyone (nor should you try). But, if you are a woman who's hating on a hyper-successful lady only because...

I'm a TV writer. And let me start by admitting that I have a total crush on my job. It makes me gooey inside, I stay up late thinking about it, and I would gladly drive cross-country in a diaper to beat down any office-wrecking ho who tried to take...

For 3 women. One already in adulthood and 2 who watch her every day to learn what it means to be a woman. They are Michelle, Malia, and Sasha Obama.

Barack Obama will be a great president. He's the only candidate who actually, truly represents change. Change being a tangible...