A Moratorium

In honor of Women's History Month, I propose a temporary moratorium on the following seven sins.

In no particular order:

HATING ON SUCCESSFUL WOMEN "JUST BECAUSE" - You can't like everyone (nor should you try). But, if you are a woman who's hating on a hyper-successful lady only because you are not that hyper-successful lady, stop it.

SLEEPING WITH EDDIE MURPHY - Coming To America's my favorite movie, too, but seriously? You have to know it's not going to end well for you.

PRETENDING TO AGREE WHEN YOU DON'T - Always speak your mind. Don't let anyone intimidate you or dilute your personality just because you have fallopian tubes. (Side effects may include unemployment and chronic manlessness.)

SENDING YOUR SINGLE FRIENDS THAT EMAIL FORWARD ABOUT THE MOST PRECIOUS APPLES BEING THE HARD-TO-REACH ONES AT THE TOP OF THE TREE - We get it.

MAKING FUN OF FAT CHICKS - Instead, make fun of stupid ones. Maybe we can start an epidemic of reading disorders where self-hating dummies lock themselves in Borders for days at a time.

SPEAKING IN A WHINY, PRE-PUBESCENT VOICE - Unless you are an actual whiny pre-pubescent, this is not cute. In fact, it is aggressively irritating. I rebuke you in the name of Friedan.

TELLING STRANGERS HOW SMART YOUR TODDLER IS - He's 14 months old. Just because he answers to his name and hasn't eaten his own face off, doesn't mean he's going to Johns Hopkins.