11/27/2010 06:31 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Desert Rata

Go placidly among the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in riches.

Speak your truth softly, and carry a big stick.

Listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, no matter how boringly and stupidly they may waste your time.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, and recall that a pot that is watched will never boil.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, for they may punch you in the mouth.

If you compare yourself with others you will find you are a loser among losers.

Keep interested in your own career, however insignificant, and possibly illegal it may be.

Always buy low and sell high.

Exercise caution buying used cars, for the world is full of lemons, but don't let this blind you to the killing you can make, for everywhere, Life is full of suckers.

Be yourself, however dull. Especially, do not feign marital intentions in a motel room.

Neither be cynical about Love; promise her anything, but give her Arpege.

You are a child of the Universe, no less than the Edsel and the dinosaur, you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe will ignore you. Why shouldn't it? Who are you?

Therefore, be at peace with the government, whatever it conceives you to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of Life, keep peace with your wife, or she'll soak you for every cent you've got.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a crummy world.

Tippiecanoe and Tyler too.

Be prepared.

Strive to have power over others.

And remember, only you can prevent forest fires.

Cheers darlings.

To read more of Tallulah Morehead, go to The Morehead, the Merrier, or buy her book, My Lush Life.

Subscribe to the Entertainment email.
Home to your favorite fan theories and the best movie recs.