Tamar Abrams

Tamar Abrams

Posted May 6, 2009 | 02:18 PM (EST)

Connie Culp: Facing the Nation

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When Connie Culp's husband shot off her face with a shotgun, he was sentenced to a mere seven years in prison. She was sentenced to spend the rest of her life faceless in a nation that values beauty. Who got off easier? And yet, she was given a reprieve of sorts as the U.S.'s first face transplant recipient. This week she showed enormous bravery by revealing her new face - flawed, oddly shaped and hardly conventionally beautiful - to the world with the words, "I am not a monster."

With this new face, Ms. Culp can breathe and smell. She can taste and smile. She has gained so much, including - hopefully - the ability to shop in a store without arousing horror or fear. A face is so much more than beauty. It is how we reveal our emotions to ourselves and to the world. A smile on a plain face can be just as appealing as one on the face of a beauty queen. A tear slowly coursing down a cheek expresses great pathos no matter the age or features of the cheek's owner.

I am guessing that Ms. Culp is hugely grateful for her new face and I hope she is feeling blessed by its assets rather than cursed by what it lacks. It is a face that takes some getting used to, and one that may change as it settles in. And yet it allows its new owner to do so many things that she was denied in one violent act. It's a gift not only to her but to all the people who love her and have missed her smiles and her tears. It's also a gift to our nation. Not only because our homegrown medical personnel have been able to perform such a complex surgery, but because it demonstrates so clearly that there are second chances in life.

There is pure symmetrical physical beauty which some are born with and which many aspire to. But there is also the beauty that comes from character and strength and wisdom and courage. There is the beauty of those who age with grace and who count every wrinkle as a reminder of their journey. And there is the beauty of Connie Culp who stood in front of cameras and gawkers and microphones to say that she's still here, undiminished by a single act of violence. A shotgun blast from a deranged man may have been the worst possible nightmare, but she's clearly not willing to live in a world of shadows anymore.

Let's celebrate Connie Culp and all the other courageous human beings who brave stares and ridicule because they fail to attain arbitrary standards. Beauty is subjective, and Ms. Culp's beauty lies in her lovely Second Act.

 
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I just can't imagine anyone wanting to take this guy back after what he did.

One point about this comment from you:

"...spend the rest of her life faceless in a nation that values beauty."

I've lived in quite a few places in Western Europe, Russia, Ukraine, Egypt, Saudi Arabia...well you get the picture. I've never lived anywhere that didn't value beauty in women very highly as much if not more so the the US. Some of you ought to get out more. ;-)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:50 PM on 05/07/2009

Connie Culp will probably take her husband back. You know, the one that shot her in the face and caused all her disfigurement.

http://www.zimbio.com/Connie+Culp/articles/1/Connie+Culp+Might+Take+Husband+Back+After

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:34 PM on 05/06/2009
- Tamar Abrams - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Tamar Abrams 10 fans permalink

While it does seem unfortunately possible that Ms. Culp may take her husband back, I am not in a position to judge what's going on in her head. Relationships are so complex...though of course I am hoping she makes good choices about the rest of her life. It doesn't negate, however, the opportunity she's been given to put her new face forward. I wish her well.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:51 PM on 05/06/2009

You forgot to mention that Connie FORGAVE HER HUSBAND at sentencing and is waiting for him to get out of jail so she can take him back.

Apparently after she visited him in jail she said "he better put me on a pedestal after this"

I don't celebrate Connie Culp.

How could anyone not only forgive, but TAKE BACK the person that did this to them?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:25 PM on 05/06/2009
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