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Tamar Abrams

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Women of America: Congress Clearly Knows Where Our Power Resides

Posted: 02/21/2012 11:44 am

Do you remember being forced to read the Aristophanes play Lysistrata in your high school Great Books class? I do. I wasn't thrilled by yet another Greek drama but ended up captivated by the story of women who swore an oath to withhold sexual activity from men in an effort to end the Peloponnesian War. Why, you may wonder, am I bringing this up now? Because it seems that a grand gesture on that scale may be in order.

You can't open a newspaper or eavesdrop on a conversation in a deli without hearing about how a bunch of men in Congress (and the Catholic or Mormon Church) are attempting to regulate women's reproductive health choices. In the state of Virginia, where I have resided for 20 years, a bill just passed both houses of the legislature forcing doctors to perform medically-unnecessary and invasive trans-vaginal sonograms on women seeking abortions. What's going on here? It's as though we woke up in the 1950s with Lucy and Desi sleeping in separate beds and clearly delineated lines between "good" girls and "bad" ones. How did we come to this and how do we return to a world where lawmakers are not declaring war on women?

Despite the buzz on Twitter and Facebook, articles and blogs, we appear to be heading toward a day where sex is once again a dirty word. And oh, the irony! I can name at least a dozen male members of Congress, past and present, who have had affairs or slept with prostitutes.

And then there's Rick Santorum, surging in the polls as he runs for the office of President of the United States. A few short months ago, he said about contraceptives,

It's not okay because it's a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. They're supposed to be within marriage, they are supposed to be for purposes that are, yes, conjugal, but also unitive, but also procreative. That's the perfect way that a sexual union should happen.
(Any grammatical errors in his quote are from the man you may someday see in the Oval Office.) He has defined "perfect" sexual union as between a man and a woman, without the need for contraceptives, and I believe he was talking to Donna Reed at the time.

So perhaps we should follow his lead and look to the past for a roadmap for our future. I have chosen Lysistrata. Withholding sexual activity is an age-old method of behavior change, pre-dating petitions and Million Mom Marches. Members of Congress are fixated on vaginas anyway -- why not make them nostalgic?

Women of America, lay down your petitions and bumper stickers. Step into a pair of comfy sweatpants and declare your intention to deny your husband or boyfriend any sexual activity until Draconian bills regulating your reproductive choices are dropped in favor of laws that create jobs and improve lives. Read a good book. Sleep in the guest room. Wear a moisturizing masque to bed. Are you with me? Women have power and apparently it's in our nether regions. Otherwise, why would so many men be sitting in Congress talking about them day after day?

 

Follow Tamar Abrams on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@Tamarabrams

Do you remember being forced to read the Aristophanes play Lysistrata in your high school Great Books class? I do. I wasn't thrilled by yet another Greek drama but ended up captivated by the story of ...
Do you remember being forced to read the Aristophanes play Lysistrata in your high school Great Books class? I do. I wasn't thrilled by yet another Greek drama but ended up captivated by the story of ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Tamar Abrams
communications consultant to nonprofits, writer
07:45 PM on 02/24/2012
Apparently the wife of a member of the Virginia state house read my blog!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbLsy9eKBlI&feature=player_detailpage&noredirect=1
One woman at a time...
11:01 PM on 02/23/2012
Ladies please join me in the "Ban Viagra" movement. If the pill is symbol of promiscuity and sex outside marriage, why aren't pharmacist requesting marriage certificates and if married, proof the wives are fertile to fill Viagra prescriptions? Join me at http://banviagra.blogspot.com/
10:29 PM on 02/23/2012
I am with you. The "power toy" has brand new batteries, in case I "feel the need." ;-) Besides the fact that it is my choice, and my husband's, whether we want to procreate or not, and people's decision's whether they feel marriage (in the concept of conservative people) is the right option for their relationship, people also tend to forget "the pill" is also used to save our lives. The pill reduce menstrual cramps,make periods lighter, offer some protection against pelvic inflammatory disease, which often leads to infertility when left untreated. The combination pill offers many other benefits, including some protection against acne, bone thinning, breast growths that are not cancer, ectopic pregnancy, endometrial and ovarian cancers, serious infection in the ovaries, tubes, and uterus, iron deficiency anemia, cysts in the breasts and ovaries (I lost an ovary 6 months ago to an ovarian cyst), premenstrual symptoms (my hubby almost lost an eye kkkk) including headaches and depression, bad cramps, and heavy and/or irregular periods.

Oh yeah, but silly me. Our lives and health are worth less than the babies we can make... In addition, this is based on a Christian belief of whatever. Last time I checked, not everyone in this country shared these beliefs. I respect all religions and beliefs, but would like to have mine respected as well.
04:53 PM on 02/26/2012
Well said!!
GraceNotes
We live for books.
03:34 PM on 02/23/2012
My question is, why is this on the comedy page? It should be on the women's page, so more of us will take it seriously.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Tamar Abrams
communications consultant to nonprofits, writer
08:02 AM on 02/24/2012
Grace, I posted it on the politics page. HuffPo posts it in many places -- including women, politics and (oddly to me) the comedy page.
GraceNotes
We live for books.
08:52 AM on 02/24/2012
I should have guessed that it would be cross-posted. I really liked this!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cye
06:15 AM on 02/23/2012
Why do these people think they have to right to tell us how to have sex, when to have sex, and who to have sex with? If they want to follow a book containing the collected wisdom of goat herders in the ancient Middle East, that's their right. But they have no right to use the state to push those beliefs onto others.

Get out of people's bedrooms!!! And keep your religious views to yourself.
07:03 PM on 02/22/2012
Meanwhile, back in the regressive VA Statehouse, Gov. McDonnell says govt can't force "invasive" procedures on women, so "if only transabdominal, or external, ultrasound will be required to satisfy the requirements to determine gestational age."

Your post is right on, Tamar, as the GOP sickness continues.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nefertari05
Will not negotiate with tearrorists
02:10 AM on 02/23/2012
But the repubs in the state senate doubled down. They have said they will not pass the amended bill and say it's transvaginal probes or nothing.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ReadMyLipstick1
It can't be that hard.
04:04 PM on 02/22/2012
I don't know how you will top this article, Ms. Abrams, but you are on target with this pro-active approach to women's rights!!. I personally am so sick and tired of men, particularly old and balding men, telling me what is appropriate for me with regard to my body. It is still a man's world, regardless of what others will say, and there is indeed a glass ceiling. This current repub-tb party will set women back hundreds of years if we don't get our acts together.

One of the comments proclaimed more women in government and that is an excellent start. (A plug for Emily's List at www.emilyslist.org is appropriate at this time. They support women running for office.)

I have personally found that a great many bright women who have married well, are inablers for their husbands and seemingly have given up themselves and who they are in order to promote their husbands. I believe there is a vast disease of 'martyr' out there. There have been admissions made that if they don't do this, the men will find someone else (younger) and these ladies will have lost their meal tickets.

The confidence of women to be able to survive and actually do well in the world is not where it should be. I hope that what I see is not the norm.

Great and funny article, I hope to read more!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Tamar Abrams
communications consultant to nonprofits, writer
08:14 PM on 02/23/2012
Hi Lipstick,
I think that for many of us women, keeping the peace is paramount. But given that our lives -- and worse, the lives of our daughters -- are likely to be circumscribed by politicians more and more, the time has passed for us to just express disgust among one another. And we absolutely can't meet restrictive legislation with silence. I was a bit tongue in cheek with this blog but do hope we can collectively send a message loud and clear: Stay out of our private lives!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cheryl tobin
Alpha Dog with my pack!
10:20 AM on 02/22/2012
If a majority of women actually did this I think this political nonsense would stop in less then a month. Probably a week.
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11:52 AM on 02/23/2012
Oh, really?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cleverboots
09:16 PM on 02/21/2012
Rick Santorum's outlook is narrow at best Lysistrata, while a satire, is demeaning to men and women.
Both have something in common.
07:40 PM on 02/21/2012
Actually, Rick would absolutely agree with you. All of us women are supposed to be the controllers of whether there is sex or not (unless we're quiverfull wives, in which case it's our Biblical duty to say yes.) Expressing passion and love for our men without wanting to get pregnant makes us bad girls. BTW, I wonder if he considers all post-menopausal women who still enjoy sex with their husbands to be bad girls, too.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cleverboots
09:17 PM on 02/21/2012
Good question! F&F
12:00 PM on 02/22/2012
You don't need to ask, "I wonder if he considers all post-menopausal women who still enjoy sex with their husbands to be bad girls, too." You're missing his point: SEX IS NOT FOR ENJOYMENT!!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lisa Guest
On-site stress reductionist, writer
05:07 PM on 02/21/2012
Fabulous piece. I love it. This is exactly the approach. We need to talk to CHANGE.org and get them on this as well! After all, continued population explosion coexisting with a shortage of oil, fresh water, fresh air, and healthy food is the perfect recipe for heaven on earth!
01:53 PM on 02/21/2012
I totally agree with this article. i mean, if we have more women in Congress, there would be less of this happening, and more attention being payed to political problems such as the Afghanistan war, and more peacemaking with other nations!
01:41 PM on 02/21/2012
Where does this government stand on health care payment for erectile dysfunction drugs?
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Tamar Abrams
communications consultant to nonprofits, writer
02:01 PM on 02/21/2012
Viagra is covered by Medicaid so clearly the government is ready, willing and able to cover the costs of men having sex but less likely to pay for the cover the resulting consequences for women.
GraceNotes
We live for books.
03:37 PM on 02/23/2012
And of course by Santorum's twisted logic, birth control leads to unwanted pregnancies. The only thing that works is abstinence-only sex education.
10:37 PM on 02/23/2012
And no one in the conservative seat is asking if the men taking Viagra are married, and if they are, if their partners are fertile. If their partners are menopausal, then they shouldn't be able to take it, because they cannot procreate and they shouldn't be having sex just for pleasure. If they are young are they married? If they are not, then they shouldn't be taking Viagra not even to masturbate, since that's also a sin.
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01:29 PM on 02/21/2012
My husband is wonderful - but largely bcz a-religious and pro-woman and pro-choice his whole life. I also enjoy sex myself! And, it does indeed strengthen our bond. So, I see no benefit in denying ourselves - in fact, maybe I'll bring in some sexy toys or something Saint Orum would disapprove of, rather than your suggestion.

However, where Republicans are concerned, I think your idea may well be brilliant - deny THEM access to their health need, if you get my drift....
12:02 PM on 02/21/2012
You forgot about squeezing an aspirin between our knees! Another GREAT essay, Tamar. Thoughtful and biting, as usual.