THE BLOG
10/24/2013 09:04 pm ET Updated Jan 23, 2014

4 Signs You're Being Perceived as Insecure

So what's the big deal if people sense we're not being authentic?

Let's face it, we've all feared that we're going to mess up, not be liked, or even be rejected at times, and in order to compensate we fake it until we make it don't we?

The problem is, while we might think we're managing and hiding our insecurities most of the time, the people around us sense them all of the time.

When we succumb to fear and start to fake who we really are, our credibility suffers. Human beings instinctually sense fear and weakness, and when this happens, people want to recoil.

In today's world, authenticity, credibility and reputation are everything. No one wants to hang out or do business with someone smelling insecure or fake.

Being real elicits respect. Authenticity breaks the ice, establishes trust and allows everyone to relax in our presence.

When we're authentic, the world responds. Relationships are easier, business deals are smoother, and people trust us. Authenticity projects confidence and strength -- both of which are signs we're standing in our power. When we're balanced and standing in our power, life unfolds easier.

So how do we even notice when we're starting to feel insecure and fake it? Our bodies are constantly giving us feedback, yet we rarely stop to notice. When we're in the moment, we can notice the signals.

Here's how to recognize when you're not being yourself. Ask yourself:

1. What's my voice doing?
When we're not being ourselves, we tend to use a high voice. We're not projecting from our belly and chances are everything below our neck is constricted and tense. Are you talking super fast? Another sign of discomfort.

2. What's my body doing?
Am I clenching my butt, my hands or my jaw? Our bodies are billions of cells firing at once and those cells can't be fooled. Tension in your psyche is picked up instantly by your body. Do a body scan.

3. Am I breathing?
Shallow breathing in the chest area vs the belly will not only change your voice, it's also a signal of fear, nervousness and playing the game of inauthenticity.

4. Am I in the present moment or am I being hypervigilant?
When we're feeling safe and authentically in the moment, we relax and respond naturally to what's showing up. When we're not, we're hypervigilant watching others for signs that we're accepted and okay.

Tuning into our body grounds us in the present moment, and when we're in the present moment, our reactions are authentic, our personalities are real and we feel safe to shine our gifts onto the world.

Originally posted Daily Transformations.

For more by Tamara Star, click here.

For more on conscious relationships, click here.

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