Dear Matt and Tamsen,
I am not dating anyone and neither is my ex. We starting "seeing each other again," and the time together led to sex. Is it okay to do that, or will this end the friendship that we have?
A: This is when you have to start thinking like a guy. Men compartmentalize, which means they categorize what each relationship is about, as well as how much emotion, time, and effort they put into it. There is no reading into anything; men take each relationship at the face value they have assigned it. Men do this because their actions and thoughts are usually not driven by emotion. Here is how to make having sex with your "ex," a healthy experience:
1. You don't have to play hard to get. You are both past that, and you are there for one purpose and one purpose only. Just get to it.
2. Think of each sexual experience with your "ex" as a "get into bed free pass." You both know the depth of this non-relationship: no expectations, just great sex.
3. When the romp is over, it's over until the next time your paths cross again. Actually, it's exciting because you ever know when it's going to happen again.
4. Finally, if you decide to have sex with your "ex," make sure you can do this without being emotionally attached. If it becomes more confusing than comfortable, then it's time to say goodbye for good.