Dear Matt and Tamsen, I had the perfect relationship for six months. My boyfriend and I loved to do everything together. But, it seems lately that all we do it fight. Can you tell me how to reconnect?
A: It can be a very stressful time of year, so you are certainly not alone. It can seem overwhelming when it comes to making a relationship work when all it seems like all you are doing is fighting. Here are a few suggestions when it comes to trying to reconnect.
1. Don't be so available. No discussions, just do it. Actions are always more powerful than words. If he doesn't seem to notice your resentment, then it may be time to think about moving on. If he becomes concerned then, let him chase you for a while.
2. Tell him that you need "time" to think about what you want in this relationship, because you are currently involved in a completely unsatisfying one. You will know where you stand by his reaction and response.
3. Plan a nice night together; take time to talk and ask him if he would be willing to make some changes to bring the relationship back to center. If he is concerned and open to the changes, then you have a shot. If he becomes defensive, confrontational or indifferent, it may be time to move on. Don't waste time with someone who does not want to make the effort to be reconnected to you.