I just came back from attending and speaking at the Blogher '11 conference.
I generally enjoy any good gathering of women, but this one had me off-the-charts inspired.
Why? The energy of 3600 women coming together in a positive spirit. The topic: women blogging, which really means women finding their voices, sharing their ideas and creating online spaces for the conversations that matter most to them.
I'll admit it, when a crowd of these women jumped up from lunch one day and starting dancing in a choreographed flash mob, huge grins across their faces, I got a little choked up. When you think about the access to education, technology and political power -- and to each other -- that women in the developed world now possess, it is clear: this is a time like no other for women to write and see their ideas make an impact in the world.
So why the anger? It had to do with what I could see about our culture from the vantage point I had at BlogHer.
At BlogHer, I was suddenly in a different universe, one in which the concerns that are at the center of so many women's lives were put front and center. Most BlogHer attendees write about what would traditionally be considered "women's" or "feminine" topics: parenting, relationships, caring for the wellbeing of their loved ones through food and health and creating a beautiful and functional home. At BlogHer, these topics were given great weight and importance. It felt like seeing a subterranean subculture rise above ground.
Being in that alternate universe for a few days, it became clear to me how marginalized and trivialized these topics are in our mainstream media and in our culture.
They are relegated to women's magazines and TV shows.
They are seen as "light," and frivolous.
Those who write about them are labeled with the patronizing term "mommy-bloggers." I would suggest, "those ensuring we have a kind, decent and wise next generation" as an alternative term.
It was also evident in the lack of presence from the rest of the technology world at the conference. Cereal and makeup companies were there, but somehow, almost none of the tech companies who sell services and software to bloggers saw this as a relevant group to promote to.
Of course, this is about something much larger than BlogHer. It is about the continued devaluing of the feminine in our culture, our delusional collective belief that the domain of heart is less important than the domain of the head, that the public realm is somehow more serious than the domestic one. That talk about business, politics and science are of greater importance than talk about mothering, marriage or creating beautiful moments among family and friends. This is so ingrained in our culture that most of us see this as simply "the way things are," but the truth is -- it could be different.
I can imagine a very different cultural reality -- one in which traditionally feminine topics are given their due importance. When that is happening, here are a few of the radical things we might expect to see:
In Media: The front page of the New York Times will include stories about political and economic news, but also about parenting, relationships and topics related to creating a healthy and nurturing home environment. Personal accounts and opinion pieces will be given more weight, because we'll recognize that so called "objective" journalism was very subjective after all. Publications that focus primarily on feminine topics -- lifestyle, home, relationships, etc. -- will be seen as equal in importance to those covering political and business news. Yep, Elle Décor and Businessweek will be seen as peers in prestige and social value.
In Development, Architecture, and Design: There will be greater attention to beauty and aesthetics everywhere: in our office buildings, on our freeways, in our schools. Beauty will be seen as important in our collective spaces, not only in the home realm. The aesthetic we see in communal spaces, from airports to office parks, will feel as feminine as it does masculine -- in colors, patterns and textures. (Have you noticed now how pretty much everything outside the home and women's boutiques is designed in a very un-feminine aesthetic? Let's think about what that is really about.)
In Politics and Business: The illusion that rationality rules will be busted, and we'll collectively acknowledge how emotions drive business and political decisions. It will be considered obvious that the capacity to understand and manage one's emotional life is the foundation for wise governance and leadership.
In Thought Leadership: The thought leaders and innovators in the fields of design, fashion, cooking, child-rearing, crafting, etc. will be seen as as gifted, visionary and important as those in the fields of business, politics, science.
The American women's movement has focused primarily on fighting for women's access to power, as power has been defined by the patriarchal culture. Those forms of power include access to higher education, access to careers in fields long dominated by men, financial independence and the right to own property, to vote and hold office.
Those are all incredibly important, and the victories that have occurred in these arenas are blessings I am profoundly grateful for. They are important in their own right, and also as strategic first steps that allow women enough political and economic power to fight other fights.
There is a second movement that can now emerge. That movement involves our collective reclamation of all that is feminine: our seeing it as needed, valuable, vital to our wellbeing. It has to do with the feminine taking prominence in the public realm, not just the private one. It has to do with balancing masculine and feminine energies in our society, and seeing feminine concerns, sensibilities, and ways of being as equally valuable to masculine ones.
Because the feminine has been so long and deeply marginalized in our culture, it will take acts of imagination for all of us to conceive of what that means, what it looks like. So, for all of us, it's time to start imagining.
Tara Sophia Mohr is a writer, teacher and coach helping women play bigger to change the world. She received her MBA from Stanford University where her studies focused on innovation and leadership. She is also the creator of the free downloadable workbook, 10 Rules for Brilliant Women.
Follow Tara Sophia Mohr on Twitter: www.twitter.com/tarasophia
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But that's not even what you're talking about. In fact, in a baffling bait-and-switch, you go from complaining about the fact that we're referred to as "mommy-bloggers" (a term which I loathe) and ignored by tech companies (false in this case), to saying that it SHOULD be all about the "feminine." We should be celebrating home and mommyhood as being equally important. But there's a flaw in your argument: Femininity isn't marginalized. It's pervasive. That's why it doesn't seem as valuable. It's common. The things you're talking about are foundations in our society... home, food, family, beauty. They don't need to be on the front pages of papers because most of us live them every day.
The bottom line, though, is that you started out making one (false) claim, and ended up with an entirely different (somewhat contradictory) argument. Leave BlogHer out of it.
I definitely want to volunteer to help improve the Geek Bar for next year's Blog Her. I'm very passionate about helping women understand tech. I run GamingAngels.com and we just gave away a scholarship to send a young girl to Computer Camp. I think if we survey to find out what you really want out of a Geek Bar and add some fun surprises, the Geek Bar could be one of the best areas at Blog Her!
Please contact me if you have any suggestions on how the Geek Bar can improve next year!
I wanted to attend the Geek Bar but was out of town for work. I think it's a great forum for women -- not only to learn more about how technology can help but not to "fear" technology. I find so many women (and men too) that get scared of trying out new platforms, functions, software, social sites, etc. that were actually created for the general user. If you need help for next year's Geek Bar, count me in.
Best, Maria
http://marialosch.com
http://superhotnerds.com
The vast majority of men do love their children as much as women do; most, however, do not yet see the day-to-day concerns as being their job--after all, they cannot breastfeed, they do not get pregnant. There is still an instinctual hangover of men provide, women homemake. Such a division alway shortchanged people, but it is no longer a division forced on us by reality. We just need to keep pushing social mores to catch up with reality.
My only caveat to your post is that we don't need to get into an either/or mindset. There were sessions and conversations about business, technology and politics throughout BlogHer. As @mamadweeb says, almost every major mobile manufacturer was there (HTC, Samsung, Verizon, LG, TMobile) among other tech and media companies. There was major representation from every consumer vertical, including automotive and financial. There were women there who write about these topics.
As one of those women who *doesn't* focus on parenting or food, etc., I don't want to have my interests identified that as feminine or masculine. I'm one of those women who's been told I "manage like a man", when all that's meant is that I'm decisive or assertive. Having worked in many many male-dominated industries and companies pre-BlogHer, I am so wary of the assignation of gender to interests or even emotions. Less because of what *you* want to see honored and recognized, but because of how other have manipulated these societal assumptions.
I hope the full diversity of women's interests can be recognized and valued at BlogHer...seeing that all come together is what is so inspiring to me each and every year, even now that we're at year #7 :)
Thanks again!
Elisa Camahort Page, BlogHer co-founder
Hi! I was a speaker at the Geek Bar 11. I spoke to Lisa that I would love to volunteer to make this a great area at Blog Her 12. I have many ideas on how to improve the space and I would love to work with the community to find out what they want out of a Geek Bar.
Thank you for the opportunity to speak this past Blog Her and I really hope you allow me to help make next year's Geek Bar the best ever!
Thank you,
Trina Finton
CEO/Founder She's Geeky Inc
I resent the implication that women are not rational. Yes, our concerns are much more varied but let's not buy into the very stereotypes about women that we're trying to get away from. Let's not unwittingly confirm the belief that women can't be taken seriously in business and politics because they're emotional and irrational.
As for women being taken seriously, there is a long and very distinguished list of women in our history (and the history of the world), who have been and continue to be taken very seriously... even though some of them (just like the men) who are quite emotional.
Glad you all had a good time.
Also, businesses KNOW that emotions drive purchases already. Are you kidding me? It's called MARKETING.
That said, it's always fun to go a convention of like-minded true believers, whether it's an Amway convention, a religious convention, or a convention of feministas. The concentration of people with the same memes lets the folks get all fired up. Then it's back to the real world, where that meme juice gets all deleted.
Good times!
I think a good workshop dedicated to helping those of us on blogger or wordpress.com move to self-hosted would have been terrific and well-attended. There were other small-to-midsized bloggers who are scared to make the move and feel like we're starting over. We're afraid to lose the followers and little momentum we may have.
Do you think the people who control information, who control corporations, who control media, who control politics, who control and exploit populaces, want these topics to overshadow their own agendas?
If all women stood up for what's inherently right, what we instinctively know to be just and fair, what we are biologically programmed for, instead of competing with men on their level, taking on their values, we would be able to not only influence our culture more effectively, but we'd be able to change it for the better, permanently.
If you go to a sci-fi convention, or a gun show, you'll hear about the those subjects discussed more intense and in greater depth than anywhere else in society at large. You get around people like you whom share your interests and concerns, well, that's just the way it is.