If Sarah Palin Did Yoga... (VIDEO)

I don't know if Sarah would be into trying yoga. It can be a fairly meditative practice that involves self-observation. Also, I'm pretty sure it's not mentioned in the bible. Of course most everyone knows that yoga is not a religion. And even if you wanted to convert to Hinduism, they probably wouldn't let you in, so nothing to fear there. Well, nearly nothing. Yoga could lead to some pondering, and a few rather tricky questions about self and life. All that thinking for yourself might be dangerous. Wink!

So I've created a yoga routine just for Sarah Palin. I think yoga can help her reduce stress, focus, relax, and most importantly, increase brain activity. Same of course for the rest of us, so grab your mat and follow along.

Warrior/Maverick Pose

Be the best maverick you can be with the warrior poses. We'll start in a lunge and open the arms and hips up into a Warrior 2. Now use your imagination. Gaze right over your front hand into the eyes of your opponent, you know, the bad guys. Then square your hips off to your front leg, and go ahead and face them Russkis dead on. Just imagine you're on your porch back home, staring across that strait. Remember to breathe and be calm, but let them know you mean business. You aren't going to put up with any funny stuff.

Extra Credit

For a little extra credit let's try Warrior 3. It's a bit tricky but I know you can do it Sarah, because you've got the zest in ya, wink! Go ahead and stand on one leg and tip the whole thing over into the letter T. You can remember this because T stands for Track, your son. Or Tara, your favorite yoga guru!

Bow and Arrow

Whew. That was a lot of work. Time for some relaxing and fun! I know you're a hunter so we're going to try bow and arrow pose. Sit down and bring your legs straight out in front of you. Grab one foot and bend your elbow to bring it all the way back by your ear. Now shoot it out in front of you, and change sides. Imagine you're up in that helicopter shooting those wolves, or maybe even a polar bear. Save 'em the trouble of drowning. Maybe we could cut taxes by selling the fur on eBay. What do you think? I'm thinking pretty coats.

Head Stand

Everyone who practices yoga knows that headstands do it all . . . better blood flow to the entire body, stimulate the nervous, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive systems, reduce stress, and best of all, they're very good for the brain. People feel refreshed after practicing a headstand. Try a head stand to clear your mind from clutter, confusing questions, and wrong answers. Who knows, you may get inspired.

All right I hope you enjoyed this routine. I promise if you practice it every day you will be the best maverick you can be!

Comments

[mjt96]

Oh wow this is good. Nicely done!

[Mariel]

Sarah has an marvelous body and would ace yoga. She might not "meditate", but the poses would be easy for her. I used to do yoga and I know a good yoga-body when I see one. If she had a good teacher like mine, she would be great.

But she doesn't need yoga, as she's already an athelete and relaxed in the midst of the storm.

[Iadoretheshihtzu]

You are hilarious! I am at my desk laughing out loud. I needed some comic relief!

[Nan2008]

LOL...EXCEPT, Sarah doesn't wear her hair in a BeeHive honey.

[JohnGrrr]

Fabulous Satire Tara!

[macmac7846]

I can't remember which columnist hung the moniker "embarracuda," on her; perhaps someone can help me on this one. Nevertheless, the name really fits!

[dartagnan]

Don'tcha know that yoga is a tool of SATAN???

[sed68]

Way to go Tara. I think my favorite is "bow and arrow shoot the wolf" pose. However, no matter how much blood flows to Sarah Palin's head, I'm afraid we probably won't be finding any thoughts in there...

[Bitsko]

Now that's original! Thanks. BTW nice fireplace.

[Barky Bark]

Palin isn't a Maverick - the fact that anyone started calling her and John Maverick. I am interested in seeing how long Sarah would have to stand on her head before a new idea came though. lol -

[ZimboChick]

lol girl u tripping. Gotta gie it to you....you gave me yoga envy!

[charon]

I don't know if Sarah does yoga, but she sure does stretch the truth a lot!

[dreadylocks]

groan

[GingersPawPaws]

lol..no comment

[hrb266]

Oops, Tara also.

[hrb266]

Sara has too much time on her hands.