Relaxation: The Art of Doing Nothing (VIDEO)

Our minds are occupied with so many useless thoughts that cause tension. When we try to relax we aren't even aware of how to go about releasing the tension that we are gripping, because we don't fully understand why it is there. It happens to all of us. Stress and tension are complicated physically and psychologically. Soothing pictures of sunsets, calming music, and meditation won't help much unless it points us in the direction of understanding our obsession with activity, the cause of our tension.

Have you ever been in an argument with someone who told you to relax in a raised tone of voice? It seems like the most ridiculous command in the moment. You can't yell at someone to relax and expect a calm, steady, and in-the-moment result. The same happens when we tell ourselves to relax. We tense up even more.

When I can't relax I'm usually obsessed with the outcome of a project, or tense about finishing a deadline. When I get really wound up my mind has a hard time focusing on the tasks I need to finish. Room for creativity shrinks and I'm left with a pile of energy that is useless to me. I've learned from reading and listening to the Dalai Lama, Ram Dass, Krishna Dass, and other great teachers that all that stuff will get done because you are doing it. You can drop the stress. I've also learned that this lifetime, this moment, this second, is so fast and it's best to enjoy it and be thankful for what you have, and not to worry about what you don't. Worrying won't make it happen, or make you happy when you get or don't get it.

We have the ability to put everything in perspective, reconnect with ourselves, our compassion, and our ability to help others instead of being worried about our wants and desires all the time. Putting your attention toward helping others, by the way, is a great relaxation technique. Deep thoughts aside, tension is in the way of our efficiency. We don't have to relax the tension, we just have to drop it. Let it go. Use what you need. Rest what you don't.

If you're relaxed on your day off it's probably not because you are sitting around commanding yourself to relax. It's probably because you have given your mind and body a break, a necessary activity for recharging and allowing inspiration to surface.

All that tension is like a clogged drain, keeping what we don't need from dropping away, standing in the way of our potential. We need to dig out all the sludge. Take a good long look at it, learn from how it got there in the first place, put a proper filter on the drain, and let it go. Of course the sludge will probably come back. But with the new filter in place, we have the proper tools for dealing with it.

Don't let the sludge take over your life. Get a filter.

This routine is designed to chill you out and release tension in the hips, hamstrings, and spine. Try it out whenever your drain is clogged and hopefully you'll be feeling nice and relaxed soon.

 

Follow Tara Stiles on Twitter: www.twitter.com/tarastiles

Comments

[CaveatMagnusFrater]

HI Tara,

Yeah, telling someone to relax in a raised voice is absurd.. I know I've done it and heard it said to me. I'm only in those situation in the first place because I'm forgetting to chill out myself and I'm living in an ego state at the moment. It's just so hard to pull away when I'm stressed or tense. And yes, like you, i find I'm in that state when I have external matters pressing and there are time constraints I feel pressured to meet. That's when I try to take a few moments and observe my breathing. It doesn't necessarily put me in a calm state of mind but sometimes it does help me clear my mind a bit and remember that i do function better when I'm chilled rather than frantic.

best wishes.
little brother

[MidwestHeart]

Take time to stop. What has worked for me is setting a timer--I started with 5 minutes and gradually increased. The increases were easy because I had already found the benefits so there was an incentive. I figured I could make myself stop long enough to do five minutes of breathing or yoga. I think I am better company to others when I do this, so I have ceased to see it as selfish.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. Good words to reflect on.

[Arithrianos]

"Doing" is only a delusion of ego anyway, even if i pretend to "do" something, still it is spontaniously accomplished, there is still no means to do anything at all. Since there is no separation between doer and deed, all that happens is the collaberative dance between the legless rider (Awareness) and the headless horse (Karma). There is no doer, no deed, only dance, only nondual arising of spontanious accomplishment.

[DivergentMary]

Good realization in these sentences:

"Have you ever been in an argument with someone who told you to relax in a raised tone of voice? It seems like the most ridiculous command in the moment. You can't yell at someone to relax and expect a calm, steady, and in-the-moment result. The same happens when we tell ourselves to relax."

So after reading this, what does it make me think of?

George Costanza's father yelling "SERENITY NOW!" :-)

[KingMidas]

While we are at it here is a recipe to increase estrogen levels and combat vaginal dryness:
Well 2.
Vaginal Dryness:
1. On an empty stomach, take 1 teaspoon of ghee ( clarified butter) with 1 cup of hot water each morning. If you have cholesterol issues, substitute ghee with Olive Oil, same quantities.

Estrogen replacement:
2. Twice a day, morning and evening , mix the following with 1/2 glass of water and drink BEFORE meals only.

1 teaspoon licorice powder*
1 teaspoon cumin powder*
1 teaspoon fennel seed powder*
1 teaspoon rhubarb* powder ( or substitute this with Vito Negundo*)
*These can be found in Indian food stores.

Do this for 3-6 months each day for a NATURAL boost to Estrogen levels.

[bmonaghan]

http:www.homegrownherbandtea.com has a great selection of organic, Ayruvedic teas that deal with women issues. Everything from PMS crampingto helping with menopause. Just go to Wellness blends, and scroll down to feminie teas. Good luck.

[mamacat]

I've got doing nothing down pat. It's doing something that eludes me.

[BlazeKING]

Diet is key

[Paul108]

"BG 5.8-9: A person in the divine consciousness, although engaged in seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, eating, moving about, sleeping and breathing, always knows within himself that he actually does nothing at all. Because while speaking, evacuating, receiving, or opening or closing his eyes, he always knows that only the material senses are engaged with their objects and that he is aloof from them." http://vedabase.net/bg/5/en

The soul is the cause of activity but does nothing. The Lord moves the body and external sense objects according to our desires and merits. The Sikhs have a phrase, "Karta Purkh," meaning "God as the doer of all things." It is like that.

"BG 3.5: Everyone is forced to act helplessly according to the qualities he has acquired from the modes of material nature; therefore no one can refrain from doing something, not even for a moment." http://vedabase.net/bg/3/en

As everyone who has tried to sit and meditate knows, it does not work. Thoughts arise again, and you get up to satisfy them!

"BG 3.6: One who restrains the senses of action but whose mind dwells on sense objects certainly deludes himself and is called a pretender."

For those who are serious and ready to stop pretending, Krishna very simply gives the prescription for complete freedom: http://vedabase.net/bg/9/27/en

[Blutodog]

A topic my wife says I'm an expert @.

[onlyThis]

Steven Harrison wrote a book called "Doing Nothing" pretty good read. Interesting web site too.

[pipetoe]

I'm a pro at doing nothing...
Finally learned how to do it well.

[LiberalBuzz]

I want to know where that picture was taken.

I used to do that a lot,.....the art of doing nothing. Go to somewhere away from everyone and just stare at the sky. I can't think that holding a lotus position would be relaxing.

Kick back and look at the sky.Go to the beach (if you can) and take a walk. That is my favorite way to do nothing. Walk the beach.

[DivergentMary]

I very much agree with you: I love the beach. Unfortunately, I have to drive for an hour-and-a-half to get to a beach, and there's no relaxation in that!

So I joined a health club with a lap pool and a separate warm water therapy pool. That therapy pool does it for me. I can float in the 7-foot deep water and completely do nothing. The water is my friend and there's no struggle to stay afloat.

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

Absolutely: stress is a ratchet.

About time the last remaining control freak on earth realizes this. By the time we're done with the carbon footprints, we should be worrying about the stress footprints. No. That's too late. We should start worrying about them NOW.

Some global warming going on there, right in our central nervous systems.

[LCLA]

The essence of stress is change.
And change is unavoidable, as is stress.
So, the key is not how to avoid stress, because death is the only door out of that room, but how to manage stress rather than letting it manage you.
Tara Styles has some good suggestions here. A good start.
Be here and be now. Such a good slogan. An even better goal.

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

No doubt at all that change is unavoidable and that much stress results from change and is hence unavoidable. And even a good thing, too.

But there's still an extra amount of stress which is 'home-made.' Not only by single individuals, but also (on top of that) by groups of individuals. There's no simple way to limit these kinds of stress at all. It's almost impossible. Like limiting CO2 emissions.

I don't know whether they can be limited at all. That's why I stated my suggestion in a ... well, let's say 'nonbinding' manner.

[foxisms]

Humans are instinctively wired for "fight or flight" as all (even wild) creatures are.
Learning to relax takes inclination, patience and practice.
If one is too busy to afford 20 minutes per day to walk this path, you are not walking your path.
Your path is walking you.
If you feel you have no time to yourself because your life is too full, remember,
you must put something down at times, in order to pick up something else.
It's immutable.

[onlyThis]

But you ARE the path that is being walked by Life. I have meditated many years investigating the origin of this thing we call our "self". You know what? It's totally made up. "I" is only an idea, a concept. Yes, there is a sense of self but who is having that sensation? Then who is questioning the one who is questioning the self and so on down the rabbit hole. Ultimately what we are left with is pure awarenes or pure subjectivity, no self or other, just being without a be-er. You are being, not "a" being, you are I Am. If you want a more authoritative source than myself google Ramana Maharshi or Nisargadatta or david carse or Hui Neng or Huang Po or Wayne Liquorman, there are many others.

[gnomic]

work: the art of getting nothing done