Rush Limbaugh has the crazy idea that Beyoncé's new song is a patriarchal anthem, telling women to "bow down" to men. Others have the crazier idea that it's about empowerment and confronting her childhood bullies in "H-town" Houston. I don't buy any of these interpretations. But,...

After a quick trip home to North Carolina to remind us she had an adorable small child, Emily abandoned Ricki once again to visit the Potential Future Husbands' hometowns.

Bobble Chris -- Chicago

Emily wore crazy bright red pants (to protect from all those urban Chicago deer hunters), a...

This week was, as Chris Harrison told the Potential Future Husbands, "by far the biggest week." Hometown dates were coming up and the guys were giving it their all to impress Emily. They anxiously monologued at her, went in for kisses no matter how painfully awkward, and even let declarations...

This week, the lovers were off to Dubrovnik, Croatia. The guys rode in on a boat fawning at how "amazing" "breathtaking" and "unreal" Croatia was. (I wish a country paid me to say dumb stuff. Croatia, are you reading? I want my free trip!)

Emily explained she'd sent Ricki back...

The episode began with the requisite Ricki time. Emily and her daughter walked around London doing touristy things. They even put the poor child in a terrible hat.

Meanwhile, Chris Harrison told the Potential Future Husbands that there were 10 of them left "but only one of you will...

At the start of the episode, front-runner Arie wanted to "get down to the real stuff and not the bromance." But the bromance was the real stuff this week.

Oh -- and remember that time they made such a big deal about filming The Bachelorette in North Carolina?...

This week Emily was very busy going on dates, sucking face, heaping undeserved compliments on Potential Future Husbands and freaking out about all sorts of things. So let's get to it, shall we?

1-on-1 With Bobble Chris

To start their date, Emily and Bobble Chris went rappelling up a tall...

Emily's motherhood was on full display this week. When she wasn't hugging a smiling Ricki, she was baking cookies, hanging out with soccer moms, or talking about kids.

She was also busy trying waaaaaay too hard with the Potential Future Husbands. Even as she kicked them off, she continued to...

The time has come again to watch 25 men with questionable sanity vie for the affections of one woman with questionable desirability. This time, it's Emily Maynard, dubbed by Chris Harrison "the southern single mom with heartbreak in her past." In case you're wondering about the heartbreak, her then-fiancé died...

The episode began with the return of solar-powered Ryan who showed up at Ashley's hotel in Fiji. He felt they'd left "things unsaid" and hadn't had "a full chance" -- a proverbial "dot dot dot," if you will. He talked about a million miles a minute, explaining, "So it's been...

The episode started with Ashley getting ready for hometown dates in her Philadelphia studio. (Further proof she's in serious need of rescuing from someone tall dark and banksome -- I mean handsome). She shared her initial thoughts on her remaining suitors:

Ben: "A real guy. No question. I love his...

This week, the lovers descended onto the city of Chiang Mai, Thailand. They kept excessively praising Ashley, in order to convince us of her worth -- and had to start fawning over the city too. Ames deemed it the "perfect place" to fall in love and JP said "If you...

Sometimes Ashley cried. Other times she kissed boys. Other times boys were mean to her. Most of the time, she cried.

1-on-1 with Ben C.
First Ashley took Ben C. to a dance studio to learn a routine she'd made up. Then, they went to hang out in a...

From the moment Ashley arrived at the house for her first date, her suitors kept talking about how great she looked. This happened so much, it felt like someone was trying to convince me Ashley was indeed a catch. Which made me wonder if maybe she wasn't. And then she...

Ashley #2 is back! I've lost count of what number she is in the long line of brokenhearted rejects back to humiliate themselves for a second time. But, like all those before her, she began the episode discussing the mistakes she made on the Bachelor (See: Fear, Not letting yourself...

With the royal wedding on Friday, I have less than 48 hours to fulfill my lifelong marry-a-prince and-become-a-princess dream! It might seem like a lost cause, but I've watched enough Real Housewives to know it's never to late to follow your dreams, and enough Bachelor to know that it takes...

They laughed, they cried, they laughed, they cried, they cried, they cried, I laughed, they cried, I laughed, they cried, they cried, they cried, I cried, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER!?", they cried some more, and then it was over. But only after 3 hours...

This week, Brad and the remaining three women went to South Africa to face big fears, big dreams, and even bigger bottles of wine. As a shaky camera followed Brad onto the plane, he confided "I thought I had things under control, not a clue. I have no clue what...

Tracy McMillan's recent article "Why You're Not Married," in which she lists all the character flaws that make single women un-marriageable, has elicited rebuttals from women and men and more women. But McMillan made me realize someone in my life is not...

I knew hometown dates were a big deal, but Brad really upped the ante this week. He began the episode by announcing, "I feel very excited, but also I'm thinking a lot." Thinking? Things are getting serious.

Chantal and Her Cats in Seattle, WA
When Brad arrived, he and...