THE BLOG
06/26/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Bachelorette Week Two: Recap

This week, we witnessed two dramatic shifts.

DAVID has changed from First Impression Nice Guy to Angry Guy. Our first sign? A lot of bleeped out swearing. The second? An inability to get over the fact that Wes poured his shot out instead of drinking it. This "violation of the Mancode" really bothered David. So much so, he ranted about it the entire episode and wanted Wes tied to a tree as punishment (sadly, the idea didn't catch on). We'll keep an eye out and hope the rest of the bachelors sleep with one eye open.

WES has been promoted from Boring Guy to Not There for the Right Reasons AND I'm Not Here to Make Friends Guy. To the bachelors' chagrin, he monopolized Jillian's time all week, even when he already had a rose. The guys also accused Wes of going on the show to promote his music career and not to find true love. Wes really brought it in the second half of the episode. He let the guys know he wasn't there to make friends, wasn't there to date a guy, wasn't there to date Jesse and wasn't there to kiss anybody's ass. He also told everyone to "get in the game" about 18 times. Do we sense a promotion to Heartless Catchphrase Guy on the horizon?

Our Consummate Asshole JUAN has lived up to his promise and was voted most hated by the guys (though Wes did have immunity). He also made some lame comment about Jillians' "piercing eyes", making us hate him a little more. Way to stay consistent, Juan.

Date 1: The Not So Amazing Race
Jillian's suitors drove around Hollywood looking for her. It was as thrilling as it sounds. "Conflict" arose between Wes and Brad of the winning team. Jillian picked Wes for a romantic dinner in a locked bank vault. Apparently being trapped in a windowless room was just the thing, because it got Wes the first kiss of the season.

Date 2: The date that made us question why we liked Jillian in the first place
Jillian started her one-on-one with Jake (the painfully bland pilot) on the wrong foot, wearing a weird flapper dress and red boots. Then, she mounted the bar of an empty restaurant and danced (sans music) because, as she said: "I've always wanted to do this." But it was when she cooed over how Jake could take care of her and how she needed that in her life, that I vomited in my mouth a little. And when Jake lunged in for a kiss, interrupting her mid-sentence, doormat Jillian was thrilled. I, on the other hand, mourned the loss of our most independent bachelorette yet.

Date 3: Group-date basketball game with the Harlem Globetrotters
Juan annoyed everyone. The HGT were the most interesting part.

Rose Party and Ceremony
Jillian kissed Juan (#3) and Kiptyn (#4), while the bachelors continued to complain about Wes and Juan. Sadly, three of my ones to watch got kicked off, but it was all for good reason...

1. BRIAN. The only mildly offensive nickname he could muster this week was "Little Hottie." But he did redeem himself when he stripped naked and jumped in the pool spouting zingers like: "Jillian, will you accept this butt" and "I'm a "humpback whale." Still, he did this at the final rose party and by then, it was just too late for a come back. We'll miss you Brian.

2. SIMON, our seven-foot British dude with an accent so thick, he needed subtitles. The reason? They stopped using subtitles this week because he was too clear to be confusing anymore. And where's the fun in that? Novelty Item status demoted, he was a goner.

3. MATHUE. Oh Mathue! I so wanted to watch you fall apart into tiny pieces all over my television screen. I said he was gonna snap, and I maintain that he will. We just won't get to see it. All we got was some low-grade crying when he got booted. LAME.

4. And then there was JULIEN, who we never really got to know. He did get voted the third most hated among the guys. I guess he looked kind of evil when he narrowed his eyes?

Drinking Game Tally
Missue of the word surreal - 2
"All on the line" - 8
Jason's name - not a one!

For Week Three's game we're going a little easier. So, naturally it's all about Jillian:
Jillian says the word "incredible" or "incredibly"
Every time she changes outfit
Every kiss or hand-hold.