Miss America Pageant 2011 Live Blog

01/15/2011 01:59 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

As you prepare to watch the television event of the season, you may be experiencing some common concerns. How will you make sense of all the intense competition, sparkly dresses and complicated interview questions? How will you know what the contestants are secretly thinking? Fear not! My Unofficial Miss America Live Blog will guide you through, every step of the way.

Tonight, Saturday January 15th, 9pm EST.

If you are one of the mistaken few not planning to tune in, consider this: The Bachelor host Chris Harrison and Dancing with the Stars host Brooke Burke will be hosting. I predict the contestants will be forced to dance with C-list celebrities in their bathing suits and the winner will get a crown, a scholarship and a marriage proposal. How could you miss all that?!