Katie Knows Best: Let Suri Have Her Bottle

Children grow up too fast. As a mother of two, I hear it all the time. What else do I hear? The word when. As in, when did you potty train your son? Or, when did you stop nursing your daughter? And lately, when did you take away the bottle?

I haven't yet. My daughter is 22 months old, nearly two, and she still gets her milk bottle -- just like Suri Cruise, the oft-photographed daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

Does that make me a bad mother?

According to the celebrity weeklies, yes. Open any one of those magazines and there's a picture of gorgeous Suri, dressed to the nines, bottle in hand. Accompanying the photo, there's frequently a caption or article condemning the Cruises for allowing their little tyke to continue bottle feeding, proclaiming that Suri is in danger of malnourishment, tooth decay and even future psychological problems.

Don't believe the hype. If there is a peer-reviewed medical study that proves that a child who drinks from a bottle past the age of one is more likely to suffer from eating or behavioral issues than a child who learned to master the sippy cup by 12 months, I can't find it. And as for the tooth decay claims, Dr. Michel Cohen, a New York City pediatrician and author of The New Basics: A-Z Baby & Childcare for the Modern Parent, says that as long as a child doesn't suck on the bottle all day and night like a pacifier, there's little danger of tooth rot either.

I drank from a bottle until I was six years old. At the end I only used it at night and it contained water, not milk, but my parents did let me have one longer than most. And guess what? My dental health is better than average. I have one cavity, which I developed in my mid-twenties, and never needed braces. I was also a good athlete, rarely got sick and graduated near the top of my class in both high school and college.

Recently I had my bone density tested, and the technician said I had one of the best scores she had ever seen. Could it be that my strong bones have something to do with all those bottles of milk I drank as a child? Hmm. Something to think about, perhaps.

One thing is for sure: I intend to let my daughter drink from a bottle until I feel like the time is right to take it away. I certainly won't take my cues from a celebrity magazine -- and I hope Katie Holmes doesn't either.

If there's a when we mothers should be asking, it's when did we all forget how to follow our maternal instincts?

Comments

[lunadove]

Everyone is different. Every parent is different.

I have two sons, and prefer not to judge others, lest I be judged. (Which I despise)

I've seen bad parents, who are neglectful or abusive. (Actually, I've experienced them!) There is quite a difference.

If you get too caught up in the details of life you can drive yourself insane. In the long run, it really doesn't matter the container in which a child drinks, it matters who has been there to hand it lovingly to them all along.
When all is said and done, at the end of our lives, it is how we love that will fill us with peace, all else will be forgotten and eventually slip away.

Keep up the good work, we need a strong, loving future generation that is prepared to find solutions that help heal the Earth and all of her People, no matter who they are or where they are from.

[Kashathree]

Does anyone out there think Katie Holmes Cruise has a clue what her baby eats? Or that she cares--unless the cameras are rolling? Is this the best of today's news?

[Jess27]

Most of the time a mother knows best, but there are times where some advice should be welcomed. I don't see any reason why a baby who is almost two should be still sucking on a bottle when they are perfectly capable of using a sippy cup. Most kids that age prefer a sippy cup because they are able to get more milk without all of the struggle. It is not hard to switch them. As for milk being the reason for strong bones, two-year-olds can still drink milk from sippy cups and real cups (if you want to clean a mess). I don't agree with strangers giving advice about someones kid; however, writing an article on the subject invites the criticism.
On a side note, there was a show about 2 six year old boys still drinking out of a sippy cup, and the psychologist said that was absolutely wrong. I can't even imaging a six-year-old drinking out of a bottle. Some parents need to step up, be a parent, and take the lead. Show you child how to progress and move on from a baby to a child. Because you know if it were up to some grown men, they would still have their mother wiping their bum for them.

[Debbie Williams]

Tatiana, you are quite right. As a responsible, attentive parent (and I assume you are one from the comments in your article) you know what your child needs and when to wean them off.

I had a boy in 1981, a little difficult to potty train and getting a lot of criticism because he wasn't potty trained by a certain age. A year and a half, as I recall. I asked a fellow mother who had a boy a year older about it. Her response: "I've never seen one yet walking down the aisle with a diaper on." Well. Yeah.

There is plenty...too much...advice to parents to go around. Enough to make every parent feel inadequate or sometimes a failure. But every one of those little critters is different. It's funny how we allow differences among adults but all kids are supposed to be the same. Nishtvar.

Sometimes as parents we just need to relax, get to know our kids, love them, and go with their flow.

Kudos on a great comment.

[gluvox12]

I think spending your time reading articles about Suri Cruise sets a bad example.

[dadw5boys]

Bottles are ok but please stop breast feeding before the kid enters elementary school.

[Galt907]

I guess it all depends upon what you add to the milk. Bourbon(my personal choice) doesn't mix well with milk.

Seriously, as the proud father of 5 grown children, parents' intincts are usually better than the best columnists' advice.

Tatiana, may your daughter grow to be healthy and wise.

[jagoneely]

My daughter also loved her bottle. She was 4 when we switched it out for a bottle-like cup. She is now going on eight years old, and we've had zero adverse effects from our choice. It gave her comfort at night, and I never had to deal with screaming fits at bedtime. She was and is a very happy and content child. (Though we gave her only water at bedtime, I must point out.) I guess I am compelled to ask - what's the big deal??

[weslenforever]

People need to mind their own business. When my daughter was nearly 2, she had 3 bottles left. The rest having been broken or disposed of for various reasons. One day she threw one of those last 3 bottles out the window of the car. I told her, "You just have 2 more. Don't do that again." A few days later she did. I told her if she did it again, she wouldn't get any more bottles. A week later she threw that one out the window. That night she went to sleep without a bottle. She never missed it. When my son was born 3 years later, my daughter would occasionally steal HIS bottle, but only for a taste and then put it back. My daughter quit wetting the bed before she was 2 because she wanted to spend the night with her aunt.
Let the children grow at their own pace and stay out of it. Unless a child is being physically or emotionally abused, MIND YOUR OWN DARN BUSINESS!!!!

[Lilliput]

It isn't that should people mind their own business. With celebrity parents like the Cruises, constant public scrutiny is the price of fame. And even for common, everyday folk it's true that "it takes a village" to raise a child.

The problem, as Tatiana points out, is that the "when" becomes a competition.

[Lilliput]

Oops...first sentence should read "It isn't that people should mind their own business."

[Tillie2]

Right on. I remember wondering about the transition to a cup business. I would be on the playground with my 20 month old, trying to substitute a cup for his bottle. Meanwhile every single adult that came jogging or walking by was sucking as hard as they could on a water bottle nipple. Now try to see that situation through a child's eyes, i.e. "Don't drink like a grown-up with a nipple please; drink like a grown-up!" Hunh??!!

[TeriMcCarthy]

It doesn't make you a bad parent, however, it does make your child in charge and that is never good. It is terrible for your child's teeth. Your dentist will tell you that.

[Artisbey]

What's the problem? I'm over sixty and still get my bottle!

Of course, now it has "Wild Turkey" in it.

[Terriac]

I agree with your post. My now 17-year-old daughter drank from a bottle longer than I would have liked, at least into her 2's, and she is a happy, healthy, well-adjusted teenager today. There is far too much of the when talk at parents today, most of which is a bunch of crap. It's not the end the frigging world, and doesn't matter much in the end. People should leave little Suri - and her parents, for whom bashing has become the pastime of the day -- alone. She is going to be just fine.

[MzTexas]

My children never had a bottle to carry around or sleep with . . . I nursed them both until they were 18 months old. Rarely ill, very intelligent . . . I'm a strong believer in feeding children the way God intended them to be fed. My suggestion? Throw away ALL bottles. The only baby that needs milk from a cow is a baby cow.

[jungpatawan]

It's not the bottle, it's what's in it.

Scientology tells parents to feed the kids barley water, homogenized milk and honey, a formula old L Ron Hubbard picked up when he time-traveled to ancient Rome.

Think I'm making that up? I wish I was!

No wonder Suri and Leah Remini's little "angel" won't give up the baba.

Try reading the WHOLE story once in a while.

JP

[kellysmalltowngirl]

Really?

[Lilliput]

If by "barley water" you mean beer, I can understand your objections. But the alcohol in beer comes from fermented barley...u­nfermented barley has no alcohol content.

When my children were babies I found that the water, or broth, really, from cooking natural barley grains, with a bit of flavoring like chicken bouillon, then strained and fed in a bottle, was an instant cure for baby's diarrhea (not for the cause of it, but at least for the unpleasant effects of it).

I learned this and many other valuable things about childrearing while living in Latin America on a corporate transfer. There they also give babies chamomile tea, which soothes and calms babies, particularly if they're collicky. And they don't have the absurd American competitiveness about having the youngest baby to drink out of a cup etc., which is what all this "advice" to mothers is about. I'm convinced that Americans sucking on their water bottles, which Tillie2 mentioned, were deprived of bottle or breast time as infants. Also, I was told that only *milk* in a nighttime bottle is bad for babies' teeth, because it curdles or sours and forms harmful bacteria.

By the way, it's been said that "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world," and in Latin America that is totally true. Too bad we in the U.S. let men tell us otherwise.

[JustMyWords]

Sounds like a good formula to me. What's wrong with it in your eyes? Or is it that you don't know what barley water is? It's nothing but a tea made with barley, and it's very good - find yourself a Korean restaurant and give it a try. It's very popular.

Watered down milk sweetened with honey. Yeah, that's probably a LOT worse than giving the kid some artificially flavored red stuff in a pouch.