Society is undergoing a massive transition and the choices we make today will set the stage for a long time to come.
As a success coach I spend the bulk of my day listening to people talk, I deal with many issues and aspects of my clients' lives. I learn what's working for them, but mostly, I loudly hear the silent scream that lives within the multitude of ways we have cleverly devised to sabotage ourselves. Sitting on the sidelines of your life, hoping that everything will be OK is a massive pitfall. I hear it every day: I hope my money is OK, I hope there is enough, I hope things change, I hope, I hope, I hope. Hope is a sissy word. Hope is just that - hope - it's one of those pleasantries that really sits on the fence: hoping and wishing are not going to get you where you are going. Hoping is the same as trying or wishing, its passive. When I was growing up my grandfather had a saying, it's not the most sophisticated saying but it gets the point across. If you intend to succeed, you must let go of hope, take responsibility for your actions and learn to co-create results or in the wise words of my WW2 sailor Grandpa, "s**t or get off the pot".
With the climate of fear abounding, my clients have come in one after another with the general frustration of falling short of their successes. I have found that this has little to do with their ability and everything to do with their general lack of clarity regarding the actual desire. Again and again, I hear stories of underdeveloped potential and unmet needs bumping up against the wall of frustration, because all too often people are out there trying to create without really identifying exactly what it is that they are attempting to do. This leads to failure and the inevitable justification for not doing more.
"I hope it all works out" is not a strategy! You can hope all day and I guarantee you will get the same results -- it's like leaving for a vacation without a destination.
We all take steps and make decisions every day, often times without putting much thought into our choices or our attitude towards ourselves and those choices. If we simply take a moment to be more aware and create well thought out steps, in keeping with our goals, we can make wonderful things happen. And if we approach these steps with the right attitude and beliefs, we can truly begin to transform all areas of our lives and make our dreams come true!
How do I do it? Well, first things first, you MUST be clear on what it is you want and need (and if you know the why, that helps too). Here are my top 5 tips for getting out of hope and into what is most important, action.
#1.Clarity of Goal
Clearly know your exact desire/destination. It's all too easy to sit on the sidelines in fear and let time facilitate your dreams passing you by. You don't have to know how you will get there but you do need to know exactly where you are going.
Sit down and commit your desire to paper. Remember, this is your dream: it's not written in stone and you may update it at will; be fluid and don't punish yourself for not being further along already; life is a process; make it a point to enjoy the journey.
Once you have identified your destination...
#2. Listen to the story you are telling yourself.
Refuse to use passive (hope) and negative words. Make sure the internal and external script you have written supports you in the most powerful way possible.
If you have any doubt that you can reach your goal or that you are the person to make this happen, then that doubt must be examined. Bring the doubt into the light and look at it -- do not avoid it or run away. Take the doubt and commit it to paper (write it out) asking yourself if it is true. Nine times out of ten, the doubt is a bold faced lie. It may not even belong to you. It's often a voice we have inherited from our past or bad habits.
#3. Give yourself permission to succeed.
Remember, you are no longer hoping that everything is going to work out; you are plugged in and pro-active. You must believe that you will succeed. Consciously develop a strong sense of self worth. Your ego wants to protect you, it will speak to you in a way that says don't take the risk, stay in your comfort zone. This voice is a lie; ask it to quiet down, stretch yourself and let your comfort zone expand.
Do you deserve to have your dreams come true? Will you be able to handle it if they do?
#4. Start where you are.
When you get too far ahead of yourself and into the end result, it's easy to become scared and overwhelmed. Most of us want to play in the Super Bowl without ever having to practice. This is an unrealistic expectation and a great opportunity for that ego to start yelling at you. Focus on small action steps that support you in building the foundation you need to support your success. It's the accumulation of these small steps that create your strong foundation.
#5. Count your wins.
Don't fall into the terrible habit of looking at what other people have or where they are at in their lives, making them right and you wrong. Foster the good habit of acknowledging yourself on a daily basis for the small and large things that you have done right today. Left unchecked, these wins will fade into oblivion; when they are valued and welcomed, they will multiply and keep you motivated. Focus on your goal every day and give yourself props for progress.
When you are out of hope and into action, you create clear obtainable objectives coupled with strong intentions, making you unstoppable. Don't forget to enjoy the process and love yourself along the way.
Be careful what you wish for -- you will likely get it.
Website: www.westcoastcoaching.com
Blog: http://tcconroy.wordpress.com/
