Why George W. Bush has Made Me Promiscuous

05/25/2011 12:05 pm ET

John Edwards' full head of hair is looking good to me. And, I must admit that I like the way Barack grins when he's addressing an adoring crowd. And did you see the gracious way in which Al Gore handled himself at the Oscars? Not a misplaced sigh all night, unless you count the collective sigh likely uttered by the thousands of attendees and millions of television viewers who couldn't help but compare the articulate, albeit zaftig Al Gore to the bumbling pretender who is currently serving us our 8-year sentence for complacence.

Even Hillary Clinton, the Stubborn One, who refuses to follow the lead of Jet Blue's contrite CEO by apologizing on all the morning TV shows, for her manly vote to authorize war in Iraq, could deposit a few bucks by my pillow, and win my heart.

What in the world has happened to me?

Could it be that my disastrously monogamous love affair with Howard Dean four years ago has soured me forever on good-old fashioned blind loyalty? I left my children, my job, and possibly a little bit of my sanity and followed kids half my age to Iowa to work on Dean's campaign. I was there when the so-called scream heard around the world, brought down the good doctor's meteoric rise. Only thing is that my husband, also in the room, and a whole lot of other people, never heard the scream. Dean was sunk as neatly as Kerry was several months later, by the folks funding the Swift Boat hit men, and an-all-too-willing press corps eager to provide the 'echo' in the media echo chamber. Because so many of us who'd swooned for Dean hadn't yet fallen in love with Kerry, the Swift Boat attack finished Kerry off as surely as the non-scream had sunk Dean. Of course it didn't hurt the GOP that Kerry, and Dean, had made mistakes along the way.

But let's be real here. Bush has made mistakes. Plenty of them. And yet, until Katrina, his base mostly stuck by him because he mattered less than the Party he represented.

We Democrats must learn from such fealty.

The stakes couldn't be more important. We must protect our Constitution and our children's future by cleaning house and placing a Democrat in the White House. As long as the occupant of the manse has the ability to sign executive orders and occupy foreign countries willy-nilly, we must be strategically discriminating and that means that we fall in love less with the standard-bearer and more with the standards we hold dear.

And that's why I'm now swearing my undying love, in public, to John Edwards. And Barack Obama. And Hillary Clinton. And Al Gore. I'll date Bill Richardson, Wes Clark and Dennis Kucinich, too. I'm an equal opportunity play-around gal.

Whichever one emerges as the Democratic nominee for president, I'm in.