There is one day each year in which tokers of all walks of life gather in pre-designated areas to celebrate the beloved ganja and all things related; we're talking about April 20, the mother of all marijuana holidaze.
But have you ever wondered how risky it is to congregate and celebrate the treasurable tweeds we all adore?
The United States' population totals at a mere 315,696,950 and counting and it's responsible for housing 25 percent of the entire world's incarcerated with a huge number of those serving time for nonviolent drug offenses, but it's still a relatively safe place to celebrate 4/20.
Unlike our fellow foreign tokers in the United Arab Emirates where the possession of microscopic amounts of marijuana in cities such as Dubai will land you in prison for a mandatory minimum of four years.
There are even extreme circumstances in which you can be charged with possessing pot if they decide to test your blood or urine and it comes back positive for THC metabolites. Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot? (WTF)
It's worth noting that United Arab Emirates' absurd drug policies even encompass such substances as poppy seeds, yes, that's right poppy seeds. Be careful which bagel you order in the UAE!
As if that info wasn't enough to get you to cancel your holidaze plans to Dubai, a man was arrested and imprisoned for four years after the airport authorities found a cigarette compressed into the bottom of his shoe.
Further testing of the cigarette in question revealed trace amounts of cannabis measuring at a minuscule 0.003 grams which the authorities deemed worthy of pressing full charges against the poor man. I'll bet we're on the phone with the travel agency now, aren't we?!?
How about we hop on a plane to Indonesia and grab a few spliffs in Bali for 4/20? Well, that could be cool if getting caught in possession of just one of those splendid spliffs couldn't land your grass-loving ass in prison for up to four years!
If you happen to get caught knowingly or accidentally, like the poor dude from our last country, importing any amounts of cannabis into the country you could face serving anywhere from five to fifteen years in an Indonesian prison.
One of the most famous Indonesian cannabis cases involves a man from Australia who wound up being sentenced to 20 years of incarceration, just narrowly escaping a death by firing squad. Bong hits in Bali anyone? I'll pass thanks anyway!
Let's try our marijuana luck in Malaysia shall we? Well, it just so happens that this is another country it would probably be best to mark off of your bong-hit bucket list.
Being popped possessing pot in this foreign land may cost you more than your freedom. If the authorities catch you holding in Malaysia you could be looking at a prison term of up to five years and be slapped with a fine of 20,000 ringgit or $6,500 American.
Plan on carrying around some serious weight while shopping for a new rug? You better not get caught! Let the cops find 50 grams or more on your person and we are talking about a minimum five year prison term and the ever humiliating reward of ten lashes! That's right; this country will beat your ass and stick you behind bars!
I hope you're not eager to grow your own in Malaysia because planting a cannabis seed may land you in prison for life with a complementary six lashings. Don't try and stop me, I'm packing my bags! Ha-ha, yeah right!
What do you say we plan a 4/20 getaway to the Philippines? Don't try and find your passport just yet, my fellow traveling tokers. The very first time the authorities catch you puffin' the good stuff they ship your bud-admiring butt off to rehab for at least six months. Do you wanna go to the Philippines, I say no, no, no!
Think you might want to try tracking down some tweeds after your stint in the rehabilitation clinic? Think again, the next time you get busted paying homage to the homegrown you could end up serving six to twelve years in what I am sure is one fabulous Philippine prison.
And if you are considering cultivating said "homegrown" you must not value your freedom, or breathing! If you're busted sinking seeds into soil you will either be sentenced to life in prison or they will take your life. That's not exactly what you would call a cannabis compassionate country. Oy vey!
Well, if all else fails I guess we could try and throw a 4/20 bash in Japan, even though their public apparently sees drug consumption as a self-admission of a dark underlying evil within those that choose to consume. That's not weird or anything.
Under Japan's "Cannabis Control Law" if you are caught possessing even small amounts of the substance you could end up serving a five year prison sentence with some good old fashioned hard labor thrown in just to keep you busy while serving out your term.
First time pot possession offenders are said to be shown leniency by only being charged with a six month prison term as opposed to five years. And as for foreigners, we won't serve any time, but we will be deported from the country and won't be allowed to reenter, like ever.
I don't know about you guys, but I think I'm going to play it somewhat safe and just plan on celebrating 4/20 right here in the United States, for this year anyway. Toke on and Happy 4/20 from all of us here at The 420 Times!
In The United Arab Emirates, even the smallest amount of cannabis possession comes with a minimum of 4 years in prison.
Importing cannabis into Indonesia comes with 5 to 15 years in prison.
Marijuana possession in Malaysia comes with a punishment of up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $6,500.
First time pot offenders in the Philippines will get 6 months in mandatory rehab.
Marijuana possession in Japan could get you 5 years in prison with hard labor.
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