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The Heckler

Entries by The Heckler

Cubs Pursuing Bush Shoe-Thrower; 'Do You Think He's A Lefty?' Asks Curious Hendry

(0) Comments | Posted December 16, 2008 | 3:54 PM

The Cubs today announced their desire to sign the angry Iraqi journalist who heaved a pair of shoes at President Bush during a press conference yesterday, saying he could be a key bullpen addition.

"Everyone who watched our last two playoff meltdowns knows our pitchers couldn't deliver under pressure," said...

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Insiders Reveal Obama Actually Sucks at Basketball

(1) Comments | Posted November 6, 2008 | 11:17 PM

Just a day after a Fox News reporter revealed failed VP candidate Sarah Palin was even less intelligent than observers feared, another post-election bombshell was dropped when news spread that President-elect Barack Obama -- long-believed to be a capable basketball player -- actually sucks at the game.

While rising...

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Wrigleyville Bar Owners Use 'Clinch Can' to Beat Booze Ban

(2) Comments | Posted October 1, 2008 | 4:51 PM

Giant 80-oz. Old Style to be served right before temporary last call


When the city of Chicago imposed a one-hour alcohol ban at all Wrigleyville taverns beginning in the seventh inning of all potential clincher games this postseason, the bar owners acted quickly,...

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The Heckler Looks Back at 1984

(0) Comments | Posted August 18, 2008 | 10:47 PM

To commemorate the Cubs' 100th year since a World Series title, The Heckler is taking a look back at some of its more memorable editions. This month we look at 1984.

The Cubs were heading west with a 2-0 NLCS lead over the Padres. Their ticket to the...

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