James Van Der Beek Unearthed in Archaeological Dig

An archaeological dig in Turkey unburied former teen heartthrob James Van Der Beek, finally revealing where he's been for the past decade.

While the goal of the dig was to uncover ruins from the Ottoman Empire, the archaeologist who first saw Van Der Beek showed no surprise and calmly announced, "I found him. We got Van Der Beek," and continued on with his work.

"It makes perfect sense that he was buried under there," said the man who made the discovery, acknowledging that's the only place he could have been since the end of Dawson's Creek. "What doesn't make sense is why he was buried so deep. He was among artifacts from thousands of year ago. Literally hundreds of feet in the ground."

Van Der Beek, known for playing characters you want to smack, dusted himself off and headed toward the camp to grab a glass of water, as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. Crew members say he slapped a few people on the back, said "thanks, homes," and walked off.

And as soon as he came, he was gone.

"I almost didn't report it in the log," the crew leader recalled, referring to the discovery as 'no big deal'. "If it had been Joshua Jackson, then we'd have a something to write home about."

-Dan Abramson, thehollywoodham.com

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Comments

[sempronia]

to have merely hoped for representative pottery sherds -- and come across a whole james van der beek-er!

(apologies for trawling for puns in the lowest stratum of humor...)

[Caesurae]

Whoa, way to give it to him, Sistedebmac! Let me recap your argument: James van der Beek has NOT fallen of the map because...because last year he played a bit part on a lame show? Is that right? Is that your argument? What a minute--you were being sarcastic, weren't you?

[majormoderate]

Wow you really got her! He was also on an episode of How I met your mother, and pretty sure he was in that movie the plague and definitely in Rules of Attraction... How many movies/tv shows have you been in over the last 10 years? But yea, you totally got her dude.

[Caesurae]

Majormoderate, did you really just trot out the "if you aren't a movie star, you can't speak critically of movie stars" argument? It's an especially specious species of argument. In literature: "If you haven't published a multi million dollar bestselling novel, then you have no right to trash the Da Vinci Code."

Majormoderate: you have disqualified yourself from further commentary.

(Also, you just copied my "Wow you really got him!" approach. Lame.)

[Irizzee]

He was hysterical on a few episode arc on One Tree Hill as well

[sisterdebmac]

Yeah, that's hilarious. Medium already "unearthed" him for a guest role last season. This might've been funny a year ago. Maybe.

[jaslyn]

That was so funny I forgot to laugh.

[bored2tears]

And original, too!