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Longing Voice-Over Ruins Wedding of "Winnie Cooper" Actress

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Danica McKellar, better known as Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years, married her longtime boyfriend, Mike Verta this weekend. Despite the beautiful ceremony, everyone in attendance was made uncomfortable as a wistful voice narrated the nuptials - a voice that sounded oddly like one of the Wet Bandits, the crime duo known for burglarizing houses during Christmas.

McKellar was also met with a surprise when Joe Cocker's cover of "With A Little Help From My Friends" accompanied her walk down the aisle.

Nobody could identify the owner of the distracting, yet extremely insightful rumination. Most guests suspected it was the adolescent boy, Kevin, who seemed deeply entrenched in his own thoughts and the only person oblivious to the omniscient voice.

While the wedding's narration seemed to hover around the topic of "Things Never Turning Out Exactly The Way You Planned," it also spent a lot of time discussing how much it "hated Wayne."

"Whoever was thinking those thoughts really needed to make sure this 'Wayne' knew he was not, in fact, a 'butthead'," said one of the guests. "I also think he was in love with the bride."

As the couple exchanged vows, the voice let everyone know it was comfortable letting go of a loved one, knowing that "somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us". It also added that its nerdy friend Paul's "Bar Mitzvah was coming up."

Due to the words' poignancy, nobody at the wedding paid attention to the heartfelt and emotional vows exchanged by McKellar and Verta. Later, the newlyweds were upstaged again during the cutting of the cake, as the guests chose to watch the adolescent boy wave stupidly at a cameraman and run over to his parents cooking hamburgers at a grill.

-Dan Abramson