05/16/2011 07:58 pm ET | Updated Jul 16, 2011

Healing Your Relationship With Food

The outer journey of healing from food and weight suffering means changing how we care for our bodies and how we eat.

The inner journey of healing means changing how we see ourselves. This is because how we see ourselves -- the beliefs we hold about our goodness -- affects every aspect of our lives: our behavior, our intentions, our motivation, and our actions.

Gandhi wrote, "Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny."

How do you see yourself? What beliefs do you hold about yourself? How are your beliefs affecting your behavior, how you treat yourself?

As tender human beings, many of us share the belief that we're unlovable, that we don't belong, that we're not enough, that if people really knew us they wouldn't love us, that we're not okay, that we're somehow falling short, that we're not doing enough, that we're wrong, that we're selfish, that we're mean spirited, that we can't care for ourselves, that we sabotage ourselves, that we're self absorbed if we love ourselves.

These shoulds -- I should be different; you should be different; life should be different -- create a basic sense of insecurity in our hearts and minds. We lose sight of our goodness and think we're "bad."

Then we live from this belief -- living from a place of deep insecurity, fear and anxiety. This anxiety then fuels our behavior. We overcompensate. We hide. We try and make ourselves look good. We feel ashamed. We get in our own way. We overeat. We stay stuck in cycles of suffering. Then we don't like ourselves, we judge ourselves, and we feel like we're bad because of how we're behaving.

The way out is to kindly examine our beliefs. To look inside and see -- what am I believing to be true? What am I feeling? What am I thinking? What am I needing?

I invite you to try this out for yourself. Before you put that brownie in your mouth, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, and kindly ask yourself, "Sweetheart, what am I believing to be true about myself right now?" Before you yell at your reflection in the mirror because of those extra pounds, can you go inwards and ask, "What thoughts am I believing about my body?"

The path of compassion is recognizing that the beliefs that we hold about ourselves -- that we're unlovable or not okay -- are not true. That they're just thoughts, and we can choose not to believe them. That we can create a new way of viewing ourselves: as perfectly lovable, as wonderfully human, as something precious, worthy, and whole.

This self acceptance then paves the way for change -- changes in how we treat and care for ourselves. As we see ourselves differently, we care for ourselves differently.

Beloved, there is nothing you can do to make yourself any more lovable than you are right now. How can you trust your goodness?

Karly Randolph Pitman teaches growing human(kind)ness, 6 tools to create self compassion, acceptance and freedom from food and weight suffering. She's the author of Becoming Binge Free, Overcoming Sugar Addiction, Heal Overeating: Untangled, and is the founder of First Ourselves, a community of women untangling from food and weight stuff. Learn more about Karly at

The Inner Weigh™ Blog is co-hosted by Dr. Dave Smiley, clinical psychologist and creator of the documentary film, The Inner Weigh™ and by featured expert, Suyin Nichols, Weight Loss and Body Image Coach. In the film, 20 of the top experts in the fields of nutrition, weight loss, spirituality, and the mind all come together to show you how to lose weight by using the Law of Attraction and tapping into the power of the Subconscious Mind. Each week, The Inner Weigh™ Blog will bring you new posts by these experts to help you create the body and the life that you want! If you or someone you love has been struggling with food, body image, and self-esteem, check out The Inner Weigh™ trailer! Become a fan and don't miss any of our posts.