Laura Bush: "If Those Women On [Desperate Housewives] Think They're Desperate, They Ought To Be With George"...

After grabbing the mike from her husband at the White House Correspondents Dinner, First Lady Laura Bush proceeded to deliver a monologue that was edgier than what the night's headliner, Cedric the Entertainer, would ultimately attempt. Mother-in-law jokes, Desperate Housewives references, tales of strip club debauchery, and a zinger about the time George gave a hand-job to a horse. Choice excerpts after the jump...

"I am married to the President of the United States and here is our typical evening. Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I am watching Desperate Housewives. With Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentleman, I am a desperate housewife. I mean if those women on that show think they're desperate, they ought to be with George. One night after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendales....I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's Secret Service code name is now Dollar Bill."