If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: People love giving pregnant women advice. Whether they ask for it or not. As soon as you make "the announcement," women -- women you'd never suspect -- come at you, telling you what you should eat, how you should sleep, and, pshh, don't even get me started on some of the (God-awful) birthing stories I've heard. We get it. Pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood are no walk in the park. Thanks for the reminder. Here's the thing, though: We don't want to hear any of that right now. We want to be excited. We want to be happy. And have you not forgotten, we're currently extra hormonal?
If you simply can't resist the urge, though, and you need to drop the knowledge on the ladies in your life who are expecting, do them a favor. Lie. Lie, lie, lie, lie. It's for the best. I'm serious.
Here are 10 things pregnant women want to hear -- even if there's not a shred of truth to them:
1. "Honestly, the only place you've gained weight is in your belly. Seriously, I can't even tell you're pregnant from behind."
2. "Don't listen to what anybody else says, you're totally going to have time to sleep after the baby comes."
3. "No, I don't think you've been extra emotional at all the past few months. Why, who said that?"
4. "I definitely think you're sexier pregnant." (For your husband or lover, of course.)
5. "Labor sounds way worse than it is. Truthfully, it's just a couple of bad cramps, then boom, you're done!"
6. "Contrary to what people say, most babies start sleeping through the night about a month in."
7. "You will 100 percent leave the hospital in your skinny jeans. I wouldn't even bother bringing any maternity clothes with you."
8. "Breastfeeding? Pshh, that was a breeze. And pumping at work was actually really fun."
9. "You'll be back to your old self in no time. Think about it -- all those extra hormones are out of your system."
10. "Your ankles are swollen? Lemme see. I never would have noticed."
What annoying pregnancy advice are you receiving/have you received during pregnancy?
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