If you're anything like me, you've uttered the words, "I'm thinking of quitting Facebook" at some point in the last few years. Or, at the very least, you've thought them. But, again, if you're like me, you just can't find the balls to do it. Something holds you back -- be it that you don't want to lose touch with old friends you've reconnected with; you're obsessed with stalking a certain someone; or you just don't want to be the weirdo who hasn't gotten with the times. It's damn near impossible. Like Jack Twist said in Brokeback Mountain: "I wish I knew how to quit you."
But you should. I should. We all should. Facebook adds nothing enriching to our lives. It's a vapid, boring, sometimes infuriating time-suck, and we'd most likely be better people without it. So, let's do it. On the count of three. One... two... okay, let's at least try! And if you need a little motivation, here are 10 more reasons why you should quit Facebook.
1. It's boring. Plain and simple. "Steve just listened to 'Blood Bank' by Bon Iver on Spotify." "Lisa just checked into Baja Fresh." Who cares?! When did play-by-plays of the mundane details of people's lives become mandatory?
2. It makes you feel bad about yourself. Remember, you're comparing the insecure, confused, private version of yourself to everybody's highlights reel on Facebook. No fun.
3. No more worrying about being tagged in photos. Everybody gets a little nervous logging onto Facebook after a drunken night that was filled with iPhone pics. Yeah, you might still be on there, but at least you won't be tagged -- and at least you won't know about it!
4. No more worrying about co-workers and superiors knowing what you're up to. When it comes to work, the less of you on the Internet, the better.
5. People who aren't on Facebook are cool. Think about the reaction people get when they say they're not on Facebook -- everyone's shocked. It sets them apart. They march to their own drummer.
6. It's a great excuse for not remembering people's birthdays. You have to call your Aunt Debbie on her birthday now, because, duh, it was right there in front of you on Facebook. Just sayin', if you're not on Facebook...
7. You won't feel pressure to think of a funny, original status update to thank everyone for wishing you a happy birthday.
8. You'll actually get news the old-fashioned way. Through text.
9. You'll have more free time. To tweet.
10. You'll be one of the very few people who actually follows through -- and quits Facebook.
Have you ever thought about quitting Facebook?
More from The Stir: