Derek Shearer's Lips Meet Hillary's Bottom

It's been our policy never to negatively comment on other Huffpo bloggers for a couple of very sound reasons. One...who the hell are we? Two...we just assume there's someone somewhere that, for instance, finds Danielle Crittenden amusing.

But the ode of Derek Shearer to the wife of his former employer is so transparently cloying that...maybe just this one time...

First, here's Derek establishing his bonafides:

"I have known Hillary Clinton since she first met my friend Bill Clinton at Yale Law School and he fell head over heels in love with her." No doubt keeping in mind, as Woody Allen wrote in Annie Hall, 'love fades'.

Then we move straight to the Mark Penn school of discourse:

"Polls show that by virtue of her political experience and her recognized talents, people recognize that Hillary is almost uniquely ready to serve as president and as commander-in-chief, even among those who politically oppose her." Indeed, people recognize her recognized talents.

Then, to make reassurance total, comes a graph proclaiming her equality in intelligence to the President of Finland. " I also accompanied Hillary to a one-on-one meeting with Martti Ahtisaari, the President of Finland, and an accomplished UN diplomat. The conversation with the president went on for two hours and ranged over complex issues of European security and US foreign policy. It was very much a discussion of equals in intelligence."

Yet while many a Finn may now pull the lever with confidence, what of her penchant for triangulation? Rest easy: " Her views on defense and foreign policy are progressive as well as nuanced and thoughtful. She does not play to the crowd with cheap rhetoric."

Still not convinced: "Hillary is a hard-headed, reality-based, practical progressive.." How much plainer can he be people!!!

Anyway, just read it. Apparently, Hillary is a penisless FDR who will make all our lives better. But the most striking thing about it is the robotic tone of you-must-accept-her. Much like the Ellen "Hillary has no dick so she gets my vote" Chesler piece in The Nation. Where Chesler praises Hillary for standing up to "withering personal attack by six angry men", and proclaims that criticism of Hillary's vote on the Iran resolution "should be understood as little more than disingenuous political theater".

Yep...if there's one thing a Clinton supporter knows, it's disingenuous political theater.

Comments

[SeanGardner]

Very funny. I laughed so hard I almost chocked on my bagle. Good post with good points.

If this were any funnier, I would be in stitches.

[otaa]

lol. i can see the clinton II administration:

mark penn stays up all night crunching the polls; after the dust settles and a clear popular opinion emerges, hillary comes out with her plan to do A, B, and abandon C.

it's gonna suck

[BaltoAman]

Thanks guys! The Shearer post was a bit of a stretch I thought.

HRC has had many opportunities to show effective leadership in the Senate, especially with regards to the Iraq war. But instead she has chosen to duck and weave.

The same applies to Obama. Oprah said he is "deserving of the presidency" (whatever that means) based on absolutely nothing.

Both can run a good campaign though, and both have powerful friends. Should be interesting.

peace!

[westwind]

Yes!! (on two points).

1. I'm glad you read Derek Shearer's article so that I didn't have to. I owe you one. I got as far as "...Yale Law School..." when I realised it was, as you say, an ass-kissing exercise. I didn't even reach "...head over heels in love...". If I had, I would have needed to find a bathroom right quick. I instead moved on to something worth reading.

2. That something else was not the latest by Danielle Crittenden.

Thanks for taking a couple for the team!

[katiekat489]

Thanks!!! I had to stop reading his piece to gag --and then had a sugar rush from all the cloying sweetness.