Derek Shearer's Lips Meet Hillary's Bottom

It's been our policy never to negatively comment on other Huffpo bloggers for a couple of very sound reasons. One...who the hell are we? Two...we just assume there's someone somewhere that, for instance, finds Danielle Crittenden amusing.

But the ode of Derek Shearer to the wife of his former employer is so transparently cloying that...maybe just this one time...

First, here's Derek establishing his bonafides:

"I have known Hillary Clinton since she first met my friend Bill Clinton at Yale Law School and he fell head over heels in love with her." No doubt keeping in mind, as Woody Allen wrote in Annie Hall, 'love fades'.

Then we move straight to the Mark Penn school of discourse:

"Polls show that by virtue of her political experience and her recognized talents, people recognize that Hillary is almost uniquely ready to serve as president and as commander-in-chief, even among those who politically oppose her." Indeed, people recognize her recognized talents.

Then, to make reassurance total, comes a graph proclaiming her equality in intelligence to the President of Finland. " I also accompanied Hillary to a one-on-one meeting with Martti Ahtisaari, the President of Finland, and an accomplished UN diplomat. The conversation with the president went on for two hours and ranged over complex issues of European security and US foreign policy. It was very much a discussion of equals in intelligence."

Yet while many a Finn may now pull the lever with confidence, what of her penchant for triangulation? Rest easy: " Her views on defense and foreign policy are progressive as well as nuanced and thoughtful. She does not play to the crowd with cheap rhetoric."

Still not convinced: "Hillary is a hard-headed, reality-based, practical progressive.." How much plainer can he be people!!!

Anyway, just read it. Apparently, Hillary is a penisless FDR who will make all our lives better. But the most striking thing about it is the robotic tone of you-must-accept-her. Much like the Ellen "Hillary has no dick so she gets my vote" Chesler piece in The Nation. Where Chesler praises Hillary for standing up to "withering personal attack by six angry men", and proclaims that criticism of Hillary's vote on the Iran resolution "should be understood as little more than disingenuous political theater".

Yep...if there's one thing a Clinton supporter knows, it's disingenuous political theater.

Comments

[Giglawyer]

Great article. Maybe you should do a follow-up on Lanny DAvis' piece as well.

[larry278]

Her Hillaryship will have the endorsment of Ana Lindquist too soon to counter Ms Winfrey endorsing Sen Obama too.

[factanonverba]

I find the whole notion that Hillary is a progressive Liberal as utterly laughable. Opportunist is more like it. If I were in a kind mood, I might confer the title of pragmatist but that label would belie her true colors. It may be all relative in a Senate family that number a hundred, but Hillary in the Senate is hardly the most liberal Senator, heck she's not even the most liberal Senator from New York and may be actually be the most conservative Democratic Senator north of the Mason-Dixon line. Hers is a politics of expediency amidst prevailing winds. Perhaps burned by the turmoils of 1993 and 1994 with "Hillary Care," she now blows with the wind. And as the wind always shifts, where will she blow tomorrow? As a progressive Liberal, you either accept the core tenets of liberalism or you don't. She doesn't. She is not a progressive Liberal.

[realitytrumpsbull]

Robots, eh? Well, garbage in, garbage out,
I'd like to see Hillary-bot give me 50 words
in 10-point, no B.S. font, on the following
issues, if she wants me to vote for her:
1) Immigration
2) Iraq war
3) National debt
4) Energy

Those are issues that interest me, and I'd
like to hear what she's got to say about em.
No statement? No consideration for the office
that she's running for, period.

[Mr.Fitz]

sigh

there's nothing wrong with saying the word 'penis' folks

the point is that voting for Hillary because she is a woman is plain stupid

so get over the penisless FDR bit

[NABNYC]

I guess we know what song Hillary really chose for her campaign. Who would've thought she'd go from vanilla middle-American Fleetwood Mac to Jimi? Go figure.

"I know, I know
you'll probably scream n' cry
That your little world won't let go
But who in your measly little world are trying to prove that
You're made out of gold and -a can't be sold

So-er, Are You Experienced?
Ah! Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have."

This is what I figure. Hillary's got Bill's IOUs going back decades, and he's passing them out to his friends, and they're jumping in to carry his water. So they tell us "Are you experienced? Hillary is experienced." And we're supposed to think "Cool, Jimi."

But we are not supposed to ask "experienced at what?"

Hillary has the richest most powerful people and corporations in this country on her side. That's because she is an experienced Republican, and she agrees with their view of an upper class elite ruling everything, while everyone else is forced down.

She's experienced at taking money and supporting Republican ideas. Not much else.

Many people blogging on Hillary's behalf on this website have the most patently absurd articles. I figure if they had anything of substance to support their position, they'd probably say it. In this case, the absence of the barking dog is meaningful. They pander, they emote, the ooze, they flatter, but they don't say anything of substance. They really can't, because Hillary's platforms can fairly be summed up as MoreBush. That's why all the rich people like her.

Anyone hear Hillary say she will end the war? Nope. Healthcare? Hillary's policy is to force people to buy more insurance. Education? Punish the little brats, then send them to religious schools. Oh, and religion? She is a faith-based lady, all in favor of having the religious fanatics rule our country.

Don't vote for Hillary. She's a Republican.

[lovethesinner]

I think I've discovered a way to get through the Shearer post without gaging:

Read it in the voice that Keith Olbermann uses for Bill O'Riley and then picture Hillary standing behind him nodding her approval with a .45 stuck to the back of his head.

http://screenmusings.org/AmericanBeauty/pages/AB_0709.htm

I stated to read it a few days ago, and couldn't get past the first few lines. Thanks J&J.

[Camel54]

I read the piece as well and it was such a propagandist bit of treacle I could hardly stand it. All the talking points were very well hit and explained as though it was foolish to have ever thought differently. One of the biggest points to me was the fact that he kept on and on about her intelligence. I don't think anyone doubts that. I think the problem most have has nothing to do with how smart she is. It's rather more a question of how much of a sell-out she is. Again, I'll vote for her if she's the nominee because of the 3000 people who are appointed by a president to make policy, but I'm working very hard in my community to prevent that.

[MrsHaskell]

I tried hard to stay with Derek Shearer but it was just too insulting to my intelligence. Like many of the puff pieces on Hillary, Shearer's post had a disturbingly desperate quality that made it seem like it had been written under some kind of duress; perhaps even at gunpoint. Thanks for reading it so I didn't have to.

[coop]

Thanks Jerry and Joe,
Sometimes you need to call B.S. on some of these "bloggers".

It gets tiring sometimes trying to counter the crap as just a commenter when more people see the article than read the replies.

Check the replies on that article now, initially everyone called him on his blog, but then after awhile, all the Hillary supporters came in to drown us out. I wonder where they all came from? Could they have come from... nahhh.

[secondharmonic]

And WHAT pray tell is wrong with Danielle Crittenden?
Is her series about the hijab not useful and or provocative? Perchance you two could go around NYC wearing pink leotards and a codpiece, huh? Then write about being propositioned a lot. Lotsa laffs, eh?
Sheesh!

[secondharmonic]

And then there's the line (a throwaway?) 'a penisless FDR'. Really is that necessary? Shearer honestly told us:
"I have known Hillary Clinton since she first met my friend Bill Clinton at Yale Law School and he fell head over heels in love with her." --- what would you rather that he not identify his familiarity with her straight up? Did you think this establishes your critical reading skills?
And some of the commentary here, fully allowed it seems -- "I wouldn't touch her with yours". Can you not even hear yourselves, gentlemen?

[MagisterLudi]

"Apparently, Hillary is a penisless FDR who will make all our lives better."
Agreed.
The evidence bears out that while Hillary has no penis, she has balls bigger than Edwards and Kucinich put together.

Just as Obama is vaginaless Evita who will usher a peace and prosperity for all those with a low FICA score.

[secondharmonic]

Whatever the utility of the comments made in this post, which would be marginal at best, surely you two 'fellas' can see, once it is pointed out to you (but why not BEFORE) how sexist you sound?
Can you imagine anyone writing w.r.t some female follower of Obama (a la Mme Huffington maybe) in such wise, about the 'relationship' between the twain?

[rmreddicks]

Two things:

We are:

Either so screwed or I wouldn't screw her with yours.

Four to eight more years more? Enjoy!