WHY IS DON IMUS SO ANGRY?

Posted June 14, 2005 | 05:02 PM (EST)


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Scott and I were watching that clip with Mr. Imus and Tucker Carlson on the blog, and we're flummoxed. Perplexed even.

Why is Don Imus so angry?

We made a list of possibilities! Could it be...

-the sick kids at the ranch. They just aren't earning their keep.

-that he's often mistaken for the first lady of American Theatre, Helen Hayes.
She died March 17, 1993. Coincidentally, he's also been dead for twelve years.

-that he keeps finding food in his neck.

-that Chris Matthews, Andrea Mitchell and Howard Fineman didn't ask him to Ibiza.

-that he thought he made it to Number 16 in Arbitron ratings. Nope. He's still 17.

-a colostomy bag is counted as one carry-on

- Maureen Dowd and Mike Lupica are still asleep and aren't picking up.

-You can't ride a horse in Depends.

-people mistake son Wyatt for Cody Lee Gifford

-the scarf isn't hiding his wattle

-his brothers blue-corn tortilla chips don't taste "blue"

-his ranch-hand costume got him beaten up at the bar

-he keeps dreaming about a giant microphone

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