Money Fear: Two Ways To Cope With Financial Panic And Recession Anxiety

One of my depression busters is to "become the expert." 

This means, as I'm peeing my pants about where Eric and I are going to get our next paycheck, I am doling out advice on how to cope with such anxiety. In telling someone else what you are SUPPOSED to be doing, I actually learn the lesson myself. And then I think if I can actually fool people into thinking that I have it all together, maybe I COULD have it altogether. 

 Nah..... 

 A few days ago a reader wrote me this email:

Lately I have been nearly paralyzed with fear and anxiety about financial issues. I have contacted my former shrink and hope she will take me back. Could you possible write an entry about dealing with and handling such fear? I'm sure that it would help me so much.

Ironically, I read it an hour after I got off the phone with my friend Michelle and vented about all the anxiety I have lately regarding finances, and that I've never in my whole life--that includes college--not been able to pay off my credit card. To this OCDer who loves numbers--that is, BLACK numbers--a little red ink can send me into a tissy. 

What do I do? These two things. (Twin powers, activate!)

1. Imagine the worst. 

That's not a typo. Interestingly enough, going to the absolute worst scenario in that imagination of yours can bring peace. 

The second time I was hospitalized, I was disabled in panic: fear that I would never get well, fear that I would be hospitalized for a year like some of the other patients, fear that I would never be able to work again or contribute anything to my family or the community. 

Then my friend Mike told me to forget about it. Forget about all those "goals" or "aspirations" ... the ones that required me to graduate from the psych ward ASAP. "You're fine," he said in the most peaceful way. "You've got everything you need."

I will always remember that moment. So when I am wrapped in anxiety about something like having no money to pay for swim lessons and school uniforms for the kids, I go to a place in my mind where I don't need the school uniforms and swim lessons.

I remind myself that if both Eric and I can't find work, then we can sell our house and buy a very small apartment in the suburbs. We can pluck our kids from Catholic school, even as much as I would hate doing that, and move to a better school district where they could go to public school free.

We will still have running water.

We would have a roof over our heads.

We both could possibly wait tables or work at a bookstore, or something that would at least provide minimum pay.

2. Be like an eagle.

The other day when I was looking for the origins of one of my favorite songs, "On Eagles' Wings," I came across this beautiful explanation of what that song means on Bob and Brenda's "On Eagles Wings" page. Their friend, Veronica Evans, said this in an e-mail:

 

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.

***

Originally published on Beyond Blue at Beliefnet.com. To read more of Therese, visit her blog, Beyond Blue at Beliefnet.com, or subscribe here. You may also find her at www.thereseborchard.com.

Follow Therese Borchard on Twitter: www.twitter.com/thereseborchard

Comments

[mamacat]

Family, friends, education, health care, income, and some luck, all play a part in surviving our troubles.
A healthy attitude is important, especially as it relates to helping to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

[Anandas]

I have to agree with some other posters that as long as we buy into the same old tired game
left over from the 50's and the whole dying military industrial complex (which is clearly completely owned by the banks and insurance companies which are just controlling financial institutions themselves and certainly not around to help anyone but themselves) coupled with a dying planet and dwindling resources (since we stupidly are not using free sun and free wind) there will be more anxiety and for most , cutting out "swimming lessons" is going to be the least of it.

Meanwhile get over your anxiety by meditating at least some daily and doing something - anything
productive to resolve what it is you are worried about.

[TruelyFedUp]

I just lost all my angst when I discovered online Jacque Fresco's concept of a resource-based economy that replaces the need for the scarcity-oriented monetary economy we have now. Fresco argues that the world is rich in natural resources and energy and that — with modern technology and judicious efficiency — the needs of the global population can be met with abundance, while at the same time removing the current limitations of what is deemed possible due to notions of economic viability.

"At the beginning of World War II the U.S. had a mere 600 or so first-class fighting aircraft. We rapidly overcame this short supply by turning out more than 90,000 planes a year. The question at the start of World War II was: Do we have enough funds to produce the required implements of war? The answer was No, we did not have enough money, nor did we have enough gold; but we did have more than enough resources. It was the available resources that enabled the US to achieve the high production and efficiency required to win the war. Unfortunately this is only considered in times of war." [14]
Fresco states that for this to work, all of the Earth's resources must be held as the common heritage of all people and not just a select few; and the practice of rationing resources through monetary methods is irrelevant and counter-productive to our survival. (taken from Wikipedia re Jacque Fresco)

Truly

[katsmom101]

I've lost 40% of my income and am going through hell trying to avoid foreclosure. I've been awake so many nights I don't remember what it's like to sleep much anymore. But music can be healing and there is a wonderful song called "Now" by Dave Carroll (the guy who sang, "United Breaks Guitars)" that has gotten me through many moments, and even helped me have a good cry when I need to. Find it on Youtube under "Now by Dave Carroll" and feel better.

[ModernTimes1]

Here's a suggestion. Stop reading blogs which generate income from over-dramatizing reality
Take a walk. Breathe. Spend time with friends who don't moan too much.

[JJThinking]

I've been "imagining the worst" for almost a year now, and things have gotten pretty bad. But I *think* I've bottomed out. The stress is, I'm sure, a national epidemic, and we all need to learn how to manage it if we want to maintain our health after the financial crisis is over.

[cinemaven]

I think that the best way to deal with financial panic and recession anxiety is to deal with reality.
Find out how much you'd be living on if your job disappears and try to live on that for a few months. That will give you an ideal taste of the things in your life that could be cut right now and put into savings if you're one of the fortunate people to still have a job and some extras.

I wish I'd done that before my husband lost his job in December. I laugh now at all of the things I used to think were necessities.

I count my blessings every day that our home was paid down to a level that gives us more affordable payments than even the cheapest apartment and that we've always been responsible with credit cards... although we did have to max them over the past 8 months just to live while we were being overlooked by unemployment payments.

My tips for coping: go now and volunteer at your local shelter and food bank so that if you do end up in financial trouble, you'll know what actual poverty looks like and you'll have picked up some tips from people who are truly coping (or not coping) with it.

[Jompa]

Listen to Obama. It alone should make you feeeeeel better!

[1sparrow]

i will find 2 bottles of cobra tomorrow. great anxiety follows after passing out. i will be fine .... many years of being ripped off by predators to come.

[metalborg]

I'm glad that trees no longer have to die to print up so much verbage.

[Dr. Hendrie Weisinger - Huffpost Blogger]

The most effective way to deal with financial anxiety and panic is to understand the mesages of these emotions. Anxiety communicates "uncertaintly, vulnerability, being at risk"-this is its evolutionary function. Thus, people need to realistically apprise where they are vulnerable-mortage, college tuition-then work out a plan to address these issues. Panic is a combination of fear and anxiety that makes an indiviudal feel "out of control." Cognitive techniques-positive self statements-"I can handle this," mixed with learning how to relax in the moment, will help the individual gain control and confront the issues. Everyone who is experiencing financal anxiety will find my book, The Emotionally Intelligent Financial Advisor to be helpful.

[TruelyFedUp]

Sounds like you are asking us to continue to buy into the same old game that is being directed by the powers that be. Now that they have burned us for years of economic slavery with mortgages and high medical and tuition fees then told us that our work and our homes have no value you want us to calm down and figure out how to continue to appease the beasts by giving them more of the same. I say we should end our enslavement by creating a new civilization - watch the Zeitgeist Addendum on YouTube for a solution that will work.

Truly

[Elkims]

Would you please use simple language that a very anxious and stressed out person like me can understand? I just had a panic attack after reading that.

[Matheo]

Very interesting points of view and thank you all for your contributions. I like to see how people think and how their thoughts affect their reality.
Perhaps this so called financial crisis only exists because we allow ourselves to become victums of circumstance.
When we relinquish responsibility for our lives we allow life to dictate to us and we become victims. We react to circumstances and have little control over our life.
Those affected by the 'financial opportunity' (I refuse to see a crisis), are those that have allowed circumstance to dictate to them how they should live. We are not masters of our lives when we are constantly reacting. We react to prices, we react to politics, we react to religeous beliefs, we react to relationships.
We become most empowered when we begin to create within our own existance and dont allow circumstance to dictate how we live our lives.
We create when we are authentic to our unique calling. When we are not real with ourselves we cannot possibly live a life outside of reaction. We live a life lying to ourselves trying to believe that we are doing what we really want and living the way we really choose to.
We live according to other peoples ideals instead of our own.
This is not life...this is prison,
The only way out is to be an authentic human being and answer to your unique talents. Do what you love to do...not for security...for love!

[tatianalensky]

although your intentions are surely.....um.......sincere? And you want to make a difference.......but well, honestly..........honey, if a little red ink throws you into a tissy then I dont think you are the right person to give advice on how to deal with financial anxiety.

[rbspickles]

WOW! These people really have no idea! Do they really think that 2 waitperson jobs will pay the rent, buy food, utilities, insurance, taxes? Bwhahahahahaaaaaa. Hopefully they will never have to find out!

[arcanepsyche]

It does, barely. Way to denigrate a huge faction of America with that comment.

[Strywever]

I think it does exactly that for an awful lot of people.

[Walcraeb]

You're kidding, right?

Are you really so out of touch?

Moving to a smaller house and pulling your kids out of private school are the WORST case Scenarios?

What about if there is no smaller house... what about if losing your job means not paying your rent? What about if losing your job means losing your insurance coverage and hence losing your treatment for your pre existing condition or worse yet, your child's pre-existing condition?

Imagine the worst?

What if the BEST case worst case scenario is dying slowly as an invalid and being a drain on your family and loved ones?

Come on! Seriously. Was this an ironic post or is this woman just a ignorant twit who has NO idea what's really going on?

Sorry I usually try to be funny or insightful, but this has me livid.

[Sarijj]

I am so with you on this!

Sell the house, oh sure that will be easy. After all there are only thousands of home for sale in just about every area in America. Sell the house for what? Less than you owe? That wouldn't work . Many banks are not agreeing to let houses go for less than what is owed. Heck, my house is is worth about 70,000 less than I paid for it. How can I sell it when I owe more than it will sell for?

Rent an apartment? Good luck if you have defaulted on your credit cards or have late payments. Your credit is shot and many apartments place value on your credit not your credibility.

Work for minimum wage? Theresa do you know what minimum wage is? It is around $7.00 and hour. Good luck living on that.

The worst case scenario for is is filing for bankruptcy, walking away from a house all while trying to find a half way decent place to live.

[skippyB]

Re read the article and go to a chair and close your eyes and think positive thoughts. I hope you are in good health.
Enough it with the Death Panel scenarios, please.
It is going to be alright.
That is the point.
It is going to be alright.

[rivergirl301]

This reminds me of "Terms of Endearment," where a clueless doctor tells mother Shirley Maclaine that his advice in these cases is to tell the family to "plan for the worst but hope for the best" (regarding her terminally ill daughter); Shirley looks at the doctor incredulously and says, "And they let you get away with that???"

[TruelyFedUp]

You Tube has a series of short videos called The Zeitgeist Addendum. In one of them it tells of a man whose house was foreclosed and he sued and won against the lender because as part of the contract the lender was supposed to provide something valuable to the borrower - they loaned money of such small value that the borrower was thrown into foreclosure. The court and the jury determined that the lender was at fault and the borrower won his case.

Truly