Thomas Frank

Thomas Frank

Posted March 4, 2009 | 03:15 PM (EST)

Conservatives and Their Pity Parties


Just as the financial crisis has created toxic assets and "zombie" financial institutions, so has it transformed conservatism into a movement of the living dead. Its partisans cling to a now-toxic portfolio of discredited notions, rhetoric, gestures and strategies. They lumber comically on, their only goal being to obstruct efforts to save the economy from catastrophe.

These days the zombie right is rallying around CNBC commentator Rick Santelli, who won fame last month when he railed against a rescue of the economy's "losers."

Mr. Santelli claimed he was backed in his outrage by "the silent majority" -- meaning a floor full of traders at the Chicago Board of Trade -- and he called for a "Chicago tea party" to protest the administration's mortgage plan.

Next thing you knew, there were "tea parties" all over the land. When I showed up for one last Friday in Washington's Lafayette Park, however, my suspicions were immediately raised. A fellow in an expensive-looking pinstriped suit came hustling into the gathering knot of the discontented, handing out pink pig balloons. This had to be a put-on, I thought, one of the "Billionaires for Bush" pranksters in his capitalist costume, preparing to lead us in a chant of "Four More Wars."

But no, this was for real: the pigs symbolized "pork," the stuff of which President Barack Obama's stimulus package was supposedly made. Suits were common among the protesters. And the slogans on the signs made their undead politics impossible to misinterpret: "Liberalism Socialism Communism," read a typical one, "What's the Difference?"

Lending proletarian authenticity to the proceedings was the famous Joe the Plumber, who took up the bullhorn to deliver a dose of working-class cynicism that would have been convincing in, say, 1978. "Our politicians up on the hill, Republicans or Democrats, don't give a rip about you, and that's the bottom line right there," Joe Wurzelbacher declared.

Banks are insolvent, asset prices are falling, GDP has taken a nose dive, but what exercised this bunch was the possibility that government -- understood as a force of pure evil -- might get too big.

"America wants people who are gonna come to D.C. and say no," exhorted Andrew Langer of the Institute for Liberty. "No more taxes! No more spending! No more expansion of government!" Another speaker insisted that deregulation was not at fault for our troubles, and that the free market had never really been tried.

As the event wore on, the speakers began to repeat, zombie-like, some version of the famous line from "Network," the 1976 movie, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore."

I got out of there quick. This was no place to find the changed, chastened conservatism that all the pundits are looking for.

But at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), which was going on in the swank Omni Shoreham hotel on that same day, what I found was merely a smoother version of the same grumbling.

Capitalist self-pity was much in vogue. Former presidential candidate Mitt Romney, looking tanned and groomed and yet strangely mechanical, joked that he needed to get through his speech "before federal officials come here to arrest me for practicing capitalism."

Jim Gilmore, a former governor of Virginia, moaned that the "philosophy" one encountered in the land these days was that "people who succeed and have wealth are bad people, and they're entitled to be discriminated against in the tax code."

Perhaps this was because the current economic crisis was being "overblown," as claimed Lew Uhler, who heads the National Tax Limitation Committee. The administration was trying "to create as much trouble for all of us as possible, and we're here to create trouble back, back, back!"

A little while later, Mr. Uhler lapsed into the same confused zombie cry as the tea partiers across town: "We're not going to stand around and take it anymore! We're mad as hell and we're not taking it!"

They're not going to take it anymore? I guess it's supposed to be obvious that conservatives are history's real victims -- that their imagined suffering at the hands of that Big Deficit to Come trumps the global systemic economic crisis and all the upheaval it may unleash.

Or is it that the mind of the right is running on some spooky kind of autopilot? "Silent majority," "Mad as hell": These are the sayings of the 1970s. Remembering them brings back all the false populisms to flicker across the screen since then, all the stale illusions that brought us to our present disaster -- all the fake cowboys, the folksy radio talkers, the regular-guy billionaires, the middle American tax rebels, the salt-of-the-earth bankers.

There is much to dislike about President Obama's approach to the financial crisis. But opposition, it seems, will have to come from somewhere other than conservatism. The party out of power is also a party out of touch.


Thomas Frank's column, The Tilting Yard, appears every Wednesday at OpinionJournal.com

Also in Opinion Journal:
Evan Bayh: Deficits and Fiscal Credibility

Robert J. Barro: What Are the Odds of a Depression?

Just as the financial crisis has created toxic assets and "zombie" financial institutions, so has it transformed conservatism into a movement of the living dead. Its partisans cling to a now-toxic por...
Just as the financial crisis has created toxic assets and "zombie" financial institutions, so has it transformed conservatism into a movement of the living dead. Its partisans cling to a now-toxic por...
 
 
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03:45 PM on 03/18/2009
I could use a nice "Cup of Tea" right about now. This country needs help and fast. Perhaps Socialism is the answer, perhaps not, but I have a feeling were going to find out real soon.
02:14 PM on 03/16/2009
Those are not Rethug tea parties, they are Libertarian.
12:00 PM on 03/16/2009
The GOP had eight years to put their best foot forward and totally blew it. I wish they'd go and lick their self inflicted wounds somewhere else.
10:50 AM on 03/15/2009
Interesting article.
By chance did you write a similar piece in 1980 about the Democrats? I am just curious if this same sort of review is given to the other party when they lose the majority? The Republicans are trying to find their way right now, didn’t the Democrats do the same or is that a bit of history we don’t want to discuss?

The Presidents’ agenda should include REAL tax reform. Something that is easy to understand and therefore easy to execute. No need to question why Mr. Geithner or Sen Daschle didn’t pay interest and penalties, we’ll leave that alone and continue to discuss class warfare as only being between rich Republicans and poor Democrats, but when tax problems are the first issue you have to deal with a in young presidency perhaps that identifies a larger issue that should be addressed.

The only obstacle to making real change in either the Tax Code or Renewable Energy (problems we have had for decades!) are the 535 members of Congress.
10:22 AM on 03/14/2009
"Lending proletarian authenticity to the proceedings was the famous Joe the Plumber...:

Best. Line. Ever.
03:59 AM on 03/08/2009
It never ceases to amaze me how the right perpetually tries to portray themselves as victims, when in truth they (or at least this segment of "them") holds such a disproportionate amount of the wealth and power in this country they'll never even understand what it means to really go without. Rick Santelli should shut up until he's had to make a meal for three out of some wilted broccoli, a package of ramen noodles, a week-old egg, and some TVP. Then we'll talk.
08:13 PM on 03/06/2009
There has never been or can be something called fair tax's. Somebody is taking your money for something you cannot control is viewed by many as unfair. Of course we all demand a variety of things for ourselves and our country that we ourselves cannot do, but the idea of paying for that just not something we like or want to do. The more you have the more you can afford to pay is just common sense, how you cut the pie always a bone of contention.

If I can only afford to take 2 cruises next year instead of 3 that will bother me. If someone is looking at the choice of heating their house or putting food on the table, that would bother me worse.

Keeping 250,000 people at the cost of over $1 trillion and 3,500 lives under the guise of fighting terrorism bothered me as well. The lives lost were more of a tax on the poor and middle class than the rich, just an observation.
10:16 AM on 03/05/2009
The blogs are full of people venting against President Obama these days. I will be as disappointed as anyone else if he fails. But it occurs to me that those who are judging him today might just be a tad early with their judgment. It took George Bush and his presidency eight years to get us to where we are now, and I think it is fair to say, that when Obama jumped into the drivers seat to try and change course, the truck Bush had been driving for eight years was still moving quickly downhill toward a quagmire.

Will Obama make a difference? Will Obama have the gift to be able to change the direction of our economy? Some appear ready to judge him now after less than two months on the job. I think Ill give him a year or two to see if he can set the course right.

Right now, neutral observers, economists and others, while not one hundred percent in favor of him, appear to be leaning towards giving him the benefit of the doubt with some believing he hasnt gone far enough and some believing he has gone too far. Most however agree on one thing. The cure for our economy will not be done in weeks and months no matter what the remedy might be. So, those who are ready to condemn Obama might want to wait a bit before they roll out the coffin.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BBLOND
Anyone but Obama
06:45 PM on 03/05/2009
Mr. Obama hasn't been in office very long but he has done a lot already. I think some judgement now is not too early. Look at the stockmarket. Oh -you don't have any 401K's? So many people I work with have lost a lot ,probably half of their money. We all will be paying higher taxes for everything.Obama is a socialist and now some people see him for what he is and a little too late I might add.He is leading this country down the wrong road (unless you like the government making all the decisions.) Well I'll wait 4 years and Obama will be out. Rush Limbaugh is brillant and right on.The economy was doing pretty well under Bush before the mortgage meltdown. Who do we blame for that? Maybe Barney Frank .Should he be investigated with his watch over freddie and fannie .. Don't forget the democratic congress was in place under Bush with the lowest ratings ever.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Articulator
10:35 PM on 03/05/2009
You are delusional. I suppose the "fundamentals of the economy were strong". George Bush himself cobbled together the $780 billion for the financial markets because he bottom was falling out of the economy and he said that was why he had to do it. There's nothing anyone on earth can do to stop the free fall in a short time. This is all on George and the GOP's record and will be for a long time. An 18 wheeler without brakes careening down a steep hill doesnt suddenly stop because the driver an passenger switch seats.
02:41 PM on 03/06/2009
Open-minded? Read this article on Reuters and tell me what you think about the housing bubble.

http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS135259+07-Jan-2008+BW20080107
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ronald B. Robinson
Keeping the Jesuit Tradition Alive
06:38 AM on 03/05/2009
Rush Limbaugh is the titular King of the Republican Party and Sarah Palin is his secessionist "NRA Chicks Gone Wild" pinup Queen. They have become the Scylla and Charybdis of the "conservative cause."

They and their GOP Predator Pals not only want President Obama to fail, but like Jefferson Davis 150 years ago, they want the Union to fail as well.

Check out my HP article on some of the other culprits:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ronald-b-robinson/fox-and-murdoch-use-i24i_b_171304.html
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Articulator
10:26 PM on 03/04/2009
"the free market had never really been tried"

Dont they realize that George is out so up is no longer down and down is no longer up.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
blueshield
09:07 PM on 03/04/2009
So-called conservatives have gotten used to substituting metaphysics for reality.

Case in point: witness the endless procession of the cream of capitalism, ascending the steps of Congress to ask, no beg, for public money.

Those CEO's and their legions of hard core capitalist executives, show no hesitation about seeking big government assistance, public tax dollars, in absolutely astronomic, deficit exploding amounts, to permit them to continue practicing....

...capitalism.

But to hear the so-called conservatives tell it, the present Administration is engaging in socialistic communism by....

....feeding these capitalists public money, to go on being capitalists.

By their reasoning, we should conclude that the barons of Wall Street, AIG and the Banks, Industrialists galore, are actually closet Marxists leading America to it's doom?

So the yokels protest at tea parties before heading back to their tax subsidized bank jobs.

That's the new Republican ideology, plain and simple.
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kathy001
Don't bogart that duck
06:36 PM on 03/04/2009
I wonder, if McCain had won the election and the economy had continued to drop, as it surely would have, who would they have blamed and what shape would their little balloons have taken?
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
10:59 PM on 03/04/2009
Gay marriage and abortion, of course. Don't you remember when some of their rank and file blamed abortion and gays for 911?
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kathy001
Don't bogart that duck
11:06 AM on 03/05/2009
LOL! How could I have forgotten that? Of course, you are right, it would have been God's punishment for "the gays" and abortions.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
WorkingClass
12:10 PM on 03/05/2009
If McCain had won and the economy continued to decline, Democrats would have blamed Nader and Republicans would have blamed Clinton.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mcthfg
06:17 PM on 03/04/2009
Wow - it really is all about them, huh?

Who cares about your neighbor - get yours for you while the gettin' is good. Not that taxing the rich helps stimulate the economy or anything...

These people make baby Jesus cry.
05:56 PM on 03/04/2009
It seems to me, that the people saying this crisis is overblown, are the ones whose income drop from 1 million to two million annually
Take away half of the income of someone earning $200 a week tough, and the crisis becomes very real.

The credence Republicans give the 'successful' to me is akin to saying that Al Capone was 'successful'.

Of course mister Plumber's fortunes are built entirely on lies and brainwashed ideas - he has no reason in the world to begin looking at and talking about actual, reality based, researched facts. That would ruin him.
05:43 PM on 03/04/2009
I may be showing my age but it all reminds me of that old New Yorker cartoon where one group of pinstripers says to the other:
"Let's all go down to the Trans Lux and hiss Roosevelt.: