Just Sit on It!

Guessing that I was most certainly toilet-trained by age three, I have been peeing in public restrooms for at least 22 years. I have no qualms about using public restrooms (as long as they're not flooded, there's toilet paper, no one's doing drugs in them, etc.), except when I find pee all over the toilet seat.

I think I've found a way to solve that problem: If all women and girls just sat on the toilet seat, allowing the pee to flow directly into the bowl instead of spraying all over seat and the floor, then all toilet seats would remain clean. We could all just sit on the seat, relax as we empty our bladders, and leave the toilet seat clean for the next user.

When I go into a public restroom, and the seat is clean, I'm just going to sit on it. I have never heard of anyone contracting a disease from sitting on a toilet seat. And if I squat, not only am I uncomfortable, but I also become guilty of the very infraction I'm rallying against. I end up peeing all over the seat. Because I am polite, if I sprinkle when I tinkle, I am neat and wipe the seat. This is totally gross, though, because I only squat if there's already someone else's pee on the seat, and now I have to clean up not only my pee, but strangers' pee, too. Ew!

So, if all females just got into this together, agree to sit on a clean seat rather than squat, we'd all be able to pee comfortably. And just think how short the bathroom lines would get without waiting for each woman to stabilize herself in her squat before using the toilet, or getting the gigantic handful of toilet paper together to clean the seat afterwards. This could even save trees!

Ladies, I think this is an idea we can all get behind.