By Matt Meltzer
If you read the Internet at all these days -- and since you're reading this article, we know you do -- it's pretty much impossible to avoid people who've been derisively labeled as "basic." Usually, it's the result of their penchant for bad reality TV, overpriced chain juice bars, $75 yoga clothes, and steroids. And while most of us have learned about "basic behavior" (and how to avoid it), it still seems to be as ubiquitous as a selfie stick.
Which is why, in the spirit of awareness (self or otherwise), we've compiled this list of 23 things that, if you find yourself doing them, probably make you a basic tourist.
Credit: Flickr/Mark Doliner
Taking a picture of your plane wing.
Wow. So clouds from 30,000 feet look... white and fluffy. Who'd have guessed? Also, that logo on the wingtip just told the whole world you fly Southwest.
Wearing velour on the plane.
All that Juicy suit says is "I pay way too much for pajamas."
Getting engaged in front of a landmark.
If your marriage is going to start off with this kind of cliché, you might as well just start sleeping with your personal trainer now.
Credit: Flickr/Ryan Joy
Bringing aboard your "service" dog.
Going through Starbucks withdrawl isn't enough to justify bringing a Pomeranian on this plane, though being a devoted fan of any Real Housewives program might be.
Posting screenshots of the current temperature.
Congratulations. You lack the creativity to take a beach selfie.
Eating anywhere because you saw it on a reality show.
The food at any restaurant that would allow the cast of Bad Girls Club is going to taste like an ashtray.
Asking for an upgrade. Anywhere.
Luxury travel accounts for about a third of airline, hotel, and cruise-line profits. Charging rich people luxury rates effectively allows them to charge you much less. Giving it to you for free because you asked nicely isn't keeping anyone in business.
Credit: Flickr/Mark Brennan
Getting that upgrade and drinking like you're at a wedding.
Have you been to an open bar before? Have you been on a plane? Combining the two isn't nearly as mind-blowing as genetically splicing a mouse gene with a tomato, but for some reason you don't get as excited about that GMO salad.
Ordering a region-specific wine that you can get at 7-Eleven.
Because, like, Kendall Jackson tastes way better when you order it in San Francisco.
Saying something is better because of the tap water, ever.
Easy there, Heisenberg. You must have the same degree in amateur food chemistry as every New Yorker.
Berating a gate agent/baggage handler/taxi driver.
You're right: They may be the most incompetent people you've ever met, especially if you're in Florida. But reminding them of that fact isn't going to make them any better at their job, which you'll find they do alarmingly well when your bag "accidentally" ends up in Winnipeg.
Taking pictures in an art museum.
Let's be honest: That selfie in front of The Persistence of Memory didn't get 400 "likes" because people were impressed by your duckface.
Insisting on eating at a region-specific chain. Just for Instagram.
Funny how In-N-Out Burger is somehow "MY FAAAAAAAAVORITE (heart)" when you've never actually been west of Pittsburgh.
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