Going on vacation means you're supposed to be happy, carefree, and a much nicer version of your usual self. But if that's true, then why do so many travelers morph into first-class a-holes the minute they walk into the hotel lobby?
For some reason, people seem to forget all sense of good manners and basic ethics when they're not staying in their own homes. And it's usually the hard-working hotel staff that has to bear the brunt of it, smiling away lest we write something critical about the scent of the shampoo in a scathing online review.
In an effort to help make their jobs easier (and make less raging jackasses of ourselves), we asked hotel employees exactly what guests do -- either deliberately or because they're just clueless -- to really get under their skin. Here are 16 things they wish we would stop doing.
Credit: Matt Meltzer
1. Assuming staff does every job in the hotel
This cocktail shaker in my hand must clearly mean I know exactly why your room key doesn't work. Although once you get that squared away, you should go ask the valet for a drink -- he makes a delicious daiquiri.
2. Making ridiculous concierge requests
Yes, we're aware it's your six-month dating anniversary. Congratulations. You're very lucky. No, that doesn't mean we can set up a secluded beach-side picnic with a private serenade by John Mayer. Although he sends his best, as well. You seem very much in love.
3. Over-exaggerating a problem
If the remote control batteries being dead is the most unacceptable thing that's ever happened to you, your life has probably been a little too easy. Also, here are some fresh ones. Enjoy Wheel of Fortune.
4. Threatening to give a bad Yelp review
You mean that site that writes bad reviews on our page when we don't advertise with them? ANYTHING but that!
Credit: Matt Meltzer
5. Leaving your garbage out in the hallway
Room service trays are fine. 48 crushed beer cans, three pizza boxes, an empty mouthwash bottle, and what we're really hoping isn't a used condom? Not cool.
6. Stockpiling room keys because you forget yours every time you leave
We can only assume that you're the world's cheapest vacation souvenir shopper and are giving everyone back in Bradenton real-life Big City Hotel Room keys.
7. Complaining about why breakfast and Internet aren't included in the rate
Why does the Super 8 offer free WiFi and waffles but a $300-a-night "luxury" property doesn't? As Kramer once quipped on Seinfeld, "Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries?" Who knows? Life is full of mysteries. You're not asking the concierge about the origins of the universe, are you?
8. Asking for room-service items that aren't on the menu, after room-service hours.
Unless your room included a menu that read: "24-hour Personal Chef Service." In which case, our bad.
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