Everyone hates candy corn. Except the people who don't hate candy corn, who people-group number one think are insane.
But you know what's even insaner? The idea that the three constituent colors of candy corn might taste different. Hey, Yellow #6 and Red #3 can't have the exact same aromatics and mouthfeel, right?
We were gonna find out, dammit. So we cut up some corn, blindfolded some eating pros -- Tasting Table Executive Editor Karen Palmer, Bon Appetit Multimedia Editor Matt Duckor, Metro Section Editor Meredith Engel, and our own NY Editor Andrew Zimmer -- and got to work. These are their stories.
This was our battle station. We cut up the candy corn into its segments as precisely as we could despite whatever they're made out of ("confectioner's glaze"??). Then we were ready.
Meredith Engel, Section Editor at Metro
General statement on candy corn stance: "It's something I only really eat once a year, but I've never been one to shy away from it."
Yellow (bottom section): "It tastes like the wax you wrap a Babybel cheese in. It has a slightly sweet taste, but it doesn't really identify with any kind of food, or any other kind of candy. Kinda tastes a little chalky. I think it's the bottom piece, because of the size and how flavorless it is. Why would they put the flavorless part as the biggest piece, right?"
Orange (middle section): "This is the love-it-or-hate-it candy corn piece. This is the one that elicits the strong reaction that people have to candy corn, I think. This is the part that has the quintessential taste. It tastes like candy corn. This seems like the yellow middle piece."
White (top section): "That tastes like the top part. I think it's white. It tastes a little like a campfire marshmallow that's been toasted."
Did anything taste like corn?: "No! No. Yeah, no."
Matt Duckor, Multimedia Editor at Bon Appetit
General statement on candy corn stance: "Is there anything but a wildly disgusting candy corn tasting? Also, does each section taste different? NO."
Yellow (bottom section): "These are large pieces. Is it uniform color on the candy corns? I should've researched this more. Definitely chewy; this is the base, the widest point of the candy corn. I'm trying to remember the color breakdown. It tastes white, clean, a bit chewy and soft. Tastes like processed sugar. I'm gonna overanalyze this. Oh f***."
Orange (middle section): "This is the middle portion. Yellow? It's the shaft of the candy corn. It's got a little bit of a granular quality of and a soft chewiness. That's the ideal. I think if candy corns were like this uniformly, I would be more on board. But it's not about texture -- it's about taste."
White (top section): "Distinct candy corn flavor. I do hate candy corn, but this takes me back. I hate Halloween, I hate candy corn. I'm going to go orange here. Processed granular sugar that's been sitting out for a while. Get this away from me."
Did anything taste like corn?: "IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE CORN."