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05/19/2014 11:11 am ET | Updated Jul 19, 2014

How to Talk Like a Beer Snob: A Beginner's Guide

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Kicking it in a brewpub or in line at a beer fest can feel like being in a weird, foreign country full of bearded dudes speaking a completely different language. But, unlike being a tourist abroad, there's no conversational pocket translator to help you differentiate between your barleys and bungholes... until now. Behold, Thrillist's Conversational Beer Snob for Beginners, a snob-to-English translation guide to understanding what the hell people are talking about between sips of saison. To wit:

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"I'm really into big beers."
"I exclusively drink beers with a huge alcohol percentage and don't really care that much about the flavor."

"This is a very sessionable ale."
"I am about to justify drinking nine beers before noon."

"You can really detect the tannins in this."
"I am used to drinking wine instead of beer, but cannot resist giving tasting notes for everything I put in my mouth."

"I prefer cask-conditioned beers."
"My love of unfiltered and unpasteurized beers is demonstrably hardcore, so much so that I will make it clear that one round of fermentation is not enough. I use the word 'bung' without giggling (much). "

More: What your beer says about you

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"This beer is infinitely quaffable."
"In college, I used to bong cheap beers. But I grew up, and now chug craft beers."

"It has an interesting bouquet."
"This beer smells terrible."

"My favorite beers start at 80 IBUs."
"I am particularly fond of extremely bitter beer, and it is a frequently trumpeted source of pride. I have also used a ruler to measure my genitals and have kept the results to myself."

"Do you have any glassware that isn't a standard pint?"
"I read somewhere that different glass shapes affect aromatics. I will likely use the term 'tulip glass' in my next sentence."

"The head on this beer is incredibly thick."
"I just did a terrible job of pouring this beer and want to save face."

This is just the beginning. Find out what it means when a beer snob asks for something imported, or says a beer tastes better on Nitro, or claims a beer is "highly ranked"!

More from Thrillist:

A Sommelier Rates All the Trader Joe's Two-Buck Chuck

The Best Champagne Under $11

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