We tend to spend a lot of time dwelling on the crappy people we run into at bars... mainly because there are tons of them. But they're not the reason we spend our nights and our paychecks in dark, loud places: they're also populated with amazing characters you want to be around. Folks who buy you drinks. Folks with amazing stories. Folks who know kung fu! Here are 19 of the best, with special thanks to New York bar Sláinte for giving them a place to call home. If you're not drinking with at least one, you need to find a new haunt.
The Guy Who Knows Aikido
The minute a bar fight starts to break out, he diffuses the situation by using the aggressor's kinetic energy to subdue him. He then buys both parties a drink to calm them down, and by the end of the night they're all friends. He owns On Deadly Ground on Blu-ray and gives incredible back rubs.
The Liquor/Beer Rep
This dude's entire career is based on going from bar to bar and making sure people are drinking his brand. Which means he's about to ring up a $500 tab, even if there are only three people in the bar. He's staying with you until the bar closes and loading you up with T-shirts... but he only has XLs and baby Ts.
The Off-Duty Stripper
She's still super hot, but now her name is Kim, not Cinnamon. And she can't turn off the whole flirting thing, which means you still think she likes you even though she doesn't. But your chances of going home with her just went up exponentially, provided she doesn't have to study for a med school exam all day tomorrow.
The Guy Alone On His Birthday
None of his friends are in town, but dammit he's going to throw down on his birthday. He might look sad at first, but he's a ticking time bomb of awesome. Before you know it... shots for everyone! Also, you are his new best friend. You guys should go into the photo booth, and then do a birthday cake shot.
The Bartender You Know
You guys go way back, and that's evident in the fact that your whiskey Coke is about 1 percent Coke. He knows exactly when to cut you off -- which is about four drinks after most people cut you off -- and has a habit of miscalculating your tab to your benefit.
The Secret-Drink Buyer
You go to get your tab, and it's already been paid for. But by whom? Some person who already left, presumably to either go to another bar to secretly treat somebody, or to watch Pay It Forward again and wonder when somebody will return the karmic favor.
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