When it comes to potlucks, most attendees fall into two distinct camps: those who take pride in what they bring, and those who take pride in having friends who take pride in what they bring. But between those two poles, there's an entire middle ground of makers and moochers. Despite their differences, you'll probably see all 27 of these types hovering around the bowl of guac.
The Guy Who Brings Beer (For Himself)
He's hoping nobody notices him when he walks in. Good chance he's holding a cheap domestic sixer with a gas station price tag on it. Feels uncomfortable eating too much food, but totally does anyway. Six beers will do that.
Made a really killer seitan casserole that "really tastes just like meat." Except it doesn't. At all. But it's still pretty good! Also a very pleasant conversationalist until somebody asks her if she's tempted by bacon.
The Person Who's Embarrassed Because His Dish Sucks
Likes to talk about cooking, but is terrible at it. Or decided to step outside of his usual repertoire of sautéed vegetables and pre-cooked proteins. Strong relation to soup guy. Recently graduated from guy-who-only-brings-beer status.
The Lady Who Spent Way More Than Everyone Else on Ingredients
Why, yes! That is sushi-grade tuna on those crostinis. And the glaze is a saffron reduction. And she really hates guy-who-only-brought-beer because she generally can't drink anything cheaper than a $31 Pinot.
The "Last Minute" Excuse Guy
Just got off work. Or wasn't planning on coming and finished work early. Or is unemployed so he doesn't have any work to give him money. Really, work is always included in there somehow.
The Guac Guy
Generally has a recipe that he's been working on for a while. Will happily rattle off ingredients for you and drop a nice anecdote about squeezing lemon juice on the guacamole to make it last more than 20 minutes in your fridge. Is a big fan of garlic and probably has an informed opinion about tortilla chips -- and that opinion is that you should make your own.
The Guy Who Didn't Bring Anything
Thinks that if he hovers around that plate of mashed potatoes long enough, people will think he brought it.
The Girl Who Genuinely Didn't Know It Was a Potluck
Last-minute invite. Pretty embarrassed about being empty-handed. Doesn't touch anything but the chips and salsa, but even the chips-and-salsa dude is quietly judging her.
Works in the restaurant industry. Is not impressed with anyone's dish. Mentions the family-style staff lunches that he cooks on the regular. Drinks heavily. Still unclear what dish is theirs.
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