By: Matt Meltzer
Credit: Flickr/Matt_Weibo
It's scientifically proven that flying makes you look and feel your absolute worst. So it shouldn't shock anybody that it can also make you act your absolute worst too. And while most of us just throw on our Beats and suffer through the experience, some passengers -- occasionally with the aid of alcohol -- absolutely lose it when they get airborne.
This year, air travelers experienced more than their fair share of weird. Here are some of the craziest things that happened on planes in 2015.
Woman stabs seatmate with a pen
If it weren't for customs declaration forms, 2015 may well have been the year TSA finally banned ballpoint pens from planes too. A sleeping passenger on a Southwest flight from Chicago to Manchester, NH, awoke to a woman stabbing him in the arm with a ballpoint pen; she was trying to stop him from snoring so loudly. The attacker was escorted off the plane (it hadn't yet taken off) and the stabbing victim was given free gin and tonics for the entire flight.
Belligerent "vaper" flashes passengers
Next time you get frustrated with your girlfriend, remember, it could be worse. While on your way to Hawaii for a nice romantic vacation, she COULD pre-game the flight a little too hard, break out a vaporizer midair, and then attack a flight attendant with a soda can when asked to turn it off. Oh yeah, and then flash everybody. Because that's what happened to the dude dating 34-year-old Kristin Sharp. Out of what we can only assume is pure fear, he defended her to the local media as "a sweetheart."
Man harassed for carrying a gun in the airport, blames police
If you saw a man -- not in an official uniform -- carrying an AR15 through an airport, what would your first reaction be? "God bless him for expressing his Second Amendment rights," correct? Probably not. Clearly Atlanta airport police hate freedom, though, because they questioned poor Jim Cooley this November as he strolled through the terminal with a semi-automatic weapon on his shoulder. Then the cops had the unmitigated gall to follow him to his car when he left. While Cooley complained to WXIA-TV in Atlanta about the police harassment, no official complaint was filed.
Credit: Flickr/NRK P3
Wiz Khalifa detained for riding a hoverboard
You don't get to be the coolest guy ever from North Dakota by WALKING through airports! Oh no, you do it by rolling through LAX on one of those handlebar-less Segways and refusing a police request to use your feet. Also by taking to Twitter and blasting the cops for hassling you for riding "technology everyone will be using in the next six months." That was in August. So, only 60 days until you look pretty stupid there, Wiz.
The Ron Artest of seat recliners
If you've ever tried to fly from LAX to SFO, you know the flight's on time about as often as the 405 is drivable. Which might explain why one man in October was a little on edge when the woman in front of him reclined her seat. It probably doesn't explain, however, why he got up and choked her. His massive overreaction was met with a swift turnaround to LAX and an even longer delay, that of course, everyone absolutely expected.
Woman can't use Wi-Fi, sues for $5 million
Though you can fly over three states in the time it takes to post one stinking Willy Wonka meme using airplane Wi-Fi, none of us have ever thought the infuriation that comes with slow or intermittent Internet was worth $5 million. Until this year, of course, when a woman on a flight from San Juan to Newark was appalled to learn her Wi-Fi didn't operate outside the contiguous United States and filed a class-action lawsuit against the airline. Not surprisingly, the suit was dismissed in November.
Man passes out on luggage carousel
Who says baggage claim has to be dull? Not in Russia. Nyet. At Domodedovo Airport near Moscow, passengers waiting for their bags were greeted with a surprise when that magical yellow light started to flash: an unidentified man was asleep on the carousel.
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