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Thrillist Opened 350 Fortune Cookies... in Bed!

08/08/2013 11:16 am ET | Updated Oct 08, 2013

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As an ode to the wisest of all cookies -- aside from the Fig Newton -- we cracked open a lifetime's worth* of fortune cookies to investigate which sound the funniest... in bed!! Because that's what people say to be hilarious. Keep scrolling for the results.

*Calculated based on four Chinese food meals per year starting at birth until the age of 87.5

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"Optimists believe we live in the best of worlds and pessimists fear this is true... in bed!" Check out the rest of the photo shoot at Thrillist.com.