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Tim Mattingly
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Tim Mattingly is a writer living in Los Angeles. He graduated from Indiana University in 2012 with a degree in English. In addition to his blog at Huffington Post, he also writes and illustrates his original humorous children’s poetry at TimmysPoems.com.

Tim's interests include, among other things, dinosaurs.

Entries by Tim Mattingly

Funny Story. Just Happened. Part One.

(0) Comments | Posted December 4, 2013 | 12:43 AM

The following story is the first in a series of stories that are all completely unrelated save for the fact that they just happened to Tim Mattingly.

Funny story. Just happened. So I was looking for five quarters to go do my laundry and I could only find two...

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A Love Letter to My Shirts

(0) Comments | Posted October 10, 2013 | 10:33 PM

Dear Shirts,

I'm writing you because I don't feel like we've ever really talked. We spend so much time together, and yet I've never sat down with you and expressed my emotions and told you how I truly feel. So, I want you to know something. I love you. I...

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Tony the Tiger Doesn't Make Any Sense

(2) Comments | Posted July 28, 2013 | 6:07 PM

Tony the Tiger's catchphrase is "They're grrrrrreat!" because he thinks that Frosted Flakes are great and he's a tiger and tigers say "grrr."

"Grrr" is the sound of a tiger growling. Growling is a tiger's signal for feeling pissed off or threatened. But Tony sounds pretty jovial and upbeat...

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'A Dad Is a Dude' - A Poem in Honor of Father's Day

(0) Comments | Posted June 12, 2013 | 8:00 PM

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Be sure to share this with your dude.

You can see more of Tim Mattingly's children's poetry here
or on Twitter here
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Reality Television Might Have Just Gotten Way More Interesting

(2) Comments | Posted April 30, 2013 | 7:51 PM

A privately funded organization called Mars One is accepting applications from anyone interested in embarking on a one-way trip to Mars to establish a permanent human colony. The mission is projected to cost $6 billion and be accomplished by 2023. The only requirement for applicants is to be "interesting and...

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Can This Be the New Official Motto of Earth Day?

(0) Comments | Posted April 22, 2013 | 4:55 PM

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That is all. Thank you.

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WikiNuggets, Vol.1

(1) Comments | Posted April 16, 2013 | 7:52 PM

I would know a whole lot less if Wikipedia didn't exist. A day rarely passes by without something piquing my interest and then suddenly I'm learning all about the mating rituals of porpoises. It's almost like how Neo learns Kung Fu in The Matrix. I open up a Wikipedia page...

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65 Million Reasons Why I'm Going to See Jurassic Park in Theaters

(9) Comments | Posted April 2, 2013 | 12:24 PM

Jurassic Park should have just stayed in theaters permanently. If I had been older than three in 1993, I would have run for office on that platform. "Citizens. I believe that our lives, our community, and our nation will be significantly improved if we all can, at any time, day...

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Happy 7th Birthday, Twitter

(1) Comments | Posted March 20, 2013 | 4:09 PM

On March 21, Twitter will turn seven-years-old. That's impressive. Seven years is a pretty short amount of time to become worth approximately $10 billion. When I turned seven, I was worth approximately one holographic Charizard.

But Twitter's birthday has caused me to wonder how many more it will live to...

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My Response to a Six-Year Old Boy's Hypothetical Question

(5) Comments | Posted March 18, 2013 | 7:08 PM

For the third installment in his monumentally important series of essays, writer Tim Mattingly will be breaking down and analyzing another of the universe's most difficult hypothetical questions. So put your thinking caps on. This one delves deep into the complex subject of edible limbs...

I used to give guitar...

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The 4.54 Billionth Annual Spring Awards

(1) Comments | Posted March 7, 2013 | 4:26 PM

Oscar season may be over, folks, but another season, a much more exciting season, a season just as ripe for all our reviews, predictions, and criticism is just around the corner.

I'm talking of course about this year's 4.54 Billionth Annual Spring.

Yes, this year's Spring is shaping up to...

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The Bright Side of Sequesters and Cliffs

(0) Comments | Posted February 25, 2013 | 2:14 PM

As the threat of the so-called "financial sequester" looms nearer and nearer, we should all try to look on the bright side: We are getting way better at coming up with cool names for financial crises.

A fiscal cliff? A financial sequester? Those are some seriously awesome names. Cliffs are...

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A Job-Seekers Guide to Employment in the Star Wars Universe

(4) Comments | Posted February 21, 2013 | 8:02 AM

In the off chance that you ever find yourself in a galaxy far, far away and in search of a decent job, I've compiled this list to help you figure out which profession might be best for you.

1. Stormtrooper

What the stormtrooping life seems to offer is job...

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An Easy Question for Fans of Breakfast Cereal, a Difficult Question for Fans of Being Lazy

(1) Comments | Posted February 14, 2013 | 11:23 AM

For the second installment in his monumentally important series of essays, writer Tim Mattingly will be breaking down and analyzing another of the universe's most difficult hypothetical questions. So put your thinking caps on. This one's about self-motivation. And love. And breakfast cereal...

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Beaver Friends

(0) Comments | Posted February 10, 2013 | 3:36 PM

In a monumentally important series of essays, writer Tim Mattingly will be breaking down and analyzing some of the universe's most difficult hypothetical questions. So put your thinking caps on. This one is about friendship. And beavers. Mostly beavers really...

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Friendly acquaintances...

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