I'm writing you because I don't feel like we've ever really talked. We spend so much time together, and yet I've never sat down with you and expressed my emotions and told you how I truly feel. So, I want you to know something. I love you. I love each and every one of you equally and unconditionally.
I'll start with you, Dark Green Louisville Slugger Shirt, because I'm wearing you right now. When I first saw you at Goodwill, I was excited and heartbroken all at once. It pains me to think that someone chose to give you away, that they didn't treat you right, that they didn't appreciate you for who you are. You are the definition of a diamond in the rough. You are the unsung hero of my wardrobe. You go so well with my khaki shorts. Keep being you. Never change.
And Long Sleeve Blue Stripes. I only bought you a week ago, but the sheer speed with which you've become a staple of my wardrobe is truly an inspiration. You look so great when I roll up your sleeves just a hair above my elbows. And on top of that, your sleeves are just loose enough to be comfortable and just tight enough to not unroll past my elbows all the time. That's fantastic. Such subtle nuance to your every fiber. Amazing. Thank you.
Black Polo. Every time I put you on, I think to myself, "Gosh. I'm not sure if I look good in black or if it's just this shirt." And then I'm suddenly reminded of that one line from Weird Al's Amish Paradise: "And my homies agree, I really look good in black...FOOL!" And then I have that song stuck in my head all day and it is great. Thank you for that. Love you, buddy.
And you. Plain White Tee. Oh, Plain White Tee. Where do I even begin? For starters, you look like shit. You look like complete and utter shit. But let me tell you something. That isn't who you are. You know this.
You've always been there for me. Despite this, I often wear you underneath another shirt. I often hide you. But do you complain? No. You're happy just to be worn. Just to be a part of something. You've taught me that life isn't something we do by ourselves. It's about sharing with others. Caring. Loving. Having giant yellow pit stains sometimes and saying, "Yes. Embrace it." That's you, Plain White Tee. Thank you for that. Thank you for embracing life.
All you other shirts of mine. I truly wish I could repay you for everything you've done for me. You deserve so much and yet ask for so little. I wish that one day, perhaps in some other life, you could wear me. But you know what? In some ways, you already do.
You already do.