iOS app Android app

Timothy Braun
Timothy Braun is a writer living in Austin, TX. His story “Four Legged Reason To Keep It Together” was published by the New York Times ”Modern Love” column. Learn more at

Entries by Timothy Braun

I'm Going to Make You a Beef Sandwich, or If You'll Excuse Me While I Install This Toilet

(0) Comments | Posted May 22, 2015 | 8:14 AM

As my new plumber opened a box filled with porcelain pieces I learn he is from Chicago, and a Bears fan. He spends the season in what he calls "The Bus", an old '74 school bus in the parking lot of Solider Field, and has invited me and my dog...

Read Post

The Little Yellow School Bus, or the Lessons We Take

(2) Comments | Posted April 27, 2015 | 12:12 PM

Recently a friend's 9-year-old daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. To help with the transition I asked if I could write the young lady a letter. The mother requested I be less direct, asking me to write a letter to my 8-year-old self when my life changed overnight, something she...

Read Post

Willy Loman: Vampire Hunter, or The Delusional Gravitas of the Everyman Antihero

(0) Comments | Posted August 1, 2014 | 3:25 PM

This lecture was given at The Dionysium, Alamo Village. Austin, TX June 4th, 7:00pm

"...we both believe, and disbelieve a hundred times an hour, which keeps believers nimble."
-Emily Dickinson

Willy Loman is the nimble protagonist of Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman. He is an aging...

Read Post

The McConaissance or "I Wear No Mask"

(0) Comments | Posted March 10, 2014 | 4:53 PM

Life is a series of commas, not periods.

-- Matthew McConaughey

The first time I paid attention to Matthew McConaughey was during his 2002 dragon film Reign of Fire. I was living in New York City and dragged my girlfriend to a matinee, a creature feature with Christian...

Read Post

An Ode to Harold Ramis

(0) Comments | Posted February 25, 2014 | 9:58 AM

I'll remember Harold Ramis as a writer more than an actor. His comedies viciously attacked plutocracies and he openly wanted to be disliked. As the hash tag #egonbutnotforgotten floats around Twitter, I'm not thinking about his lovable nerd character in Ghostbusters, I'm thinking about the sardonic attacks he wrote against...

Read Post

The Ring, or What He Didn't Take

(0) Comments | Posted February 13, 2014 | 5:16 PM

When I came home the front door was smashed. It was the holiday season, and I was only gone for five hours to have a cheeseburger with a friend and watch my football team, the Colts, play their last game before the play-offs. I didn't think. I just reacted and...

Read Post

The Underdogs

(0) Comments | Posted February 4, 2014 | 10:49 AM

On December 29th I left my home for five hours to get a cheeseburger, see a friend, and watch the last weekend of regular season football. I hadn't left my home in days working on grant proposals for a play about modern ennui and a book I want to write...

Read Post

The Economy of Scale, or the Indianapolis Colts and Academia

(3) Comments | Posted January 4, 2014 | 12:21 AM

Professional football and academia go hand-in-hand. A university, although often seen as a pillar of educational fortitude, is, like professional football, a business mostly concerned with winning money and the reputation game. If a student learns something in college, that is nice, but a university is a franchise with a...

Read Post

A Clue on Chris Kluwe

(11) Comments | Posted January 3, 2014 | 9:36 AM

I appreciate Chris Kluwe, the former punter of the Minnesota Vikings who unceremoniously called out a Maryland politician with his Deadspin article "They Won't Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster..." His writing is stylish and charming, and Kluwe has drawn a great deal of attention to a...

Read Post

My Creature From The Black Lagoon, or the Fun of Terror

(0) Comments | Posted October 23, 2013 | 12:20 PM

"I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out. I'm not proud." -Stephen King

Stephen King is...

Read Post

The House That Manning Built

(4) Comments | Posted October 18, 2013 | 12:57 PM

The Indianapolis Colts drafted Peyton Manning with the first overall pick in the 1998 NFL Draft out of the University of Tennessee. An intelligent quarterback with a surgical approach to the game was an easy pick for a football team dropped in the middle of basketball country when they left...

Read Post

Stay Here, I'm Getting You Out, or Away With Dusty

(2) Comments | Posted August 30, 2013 | 10:00 AM

Five years ago I looked into a cage and said, "Stay here, I'm getting you out," to my dog, Dusty-Danger. He was sitting in the second pin at a shelter in Austin, TX, a shelter that had become known for putting down 50 percent of their animals. Walking into the...

Read Post

I Am Tony Soprano

(2) Comments | Posted June 23, 2013 | 2:11 PM

My first memory of Tony Soprano was of him wading in the waters of his home swimming pool, attempting to help ducks. He was grasping for something more harmless. Later I learned Tony had a difficult relationship with his mother and uncle, he didn't understands his kids, his marriage had...

Read Post

To (All) The Millions of High School Seniors With Sour Grapes, Especially Ms. Weiss...

(33) Comments | Posted April 15, 2013 | 12:37 PM

The essay "To (All) the Colleges That Rejected Me", originally published by the Wall Street Journal, by Suzy Lee Weiss, has been making the rounds on social media platforms. She's even had an appearance on NBC's Today Show, in which she claims a 4.5 GPA, a 2120 SAT score, and...

Read Post

Fusebox 2013

(0) Comments | Posted March 21, 2013 | 2:19 PM

Austin, TX -- The city of Austin has a festival almost every week now. South by Southwest, Austin City Limits, The Moontower Comedy Festival, Austin Comic Con and The Texas Book Festival are among the most popular. The city even celebrates Eeyore's birthday, the glum sidekick of Winnie the Pooh,...

Read Post

What's A Dog For? The Surprising History, Science, Philosophy and Politics of Man's Best Friend

(15) Comments | Posted January 3, 2013 | 9:55 AM

I told my dog I had been asked to review What's A Dog For? The Surprising History, Science, Philosophy and Politics of Man's Best Friend, the first book by New York magazine executive director John Homans. I do tell my dog everything, but he was unimpressed, maybe pessimistic. He looked...

Read Post

Thanksgiving With the Blonde in the Brown Jacket

(0) Comments | Posted November 20, 2012 | 2:16 PM

If you find yourself awakened by an eccentric, foul-tempered neighbor called el Jefe in the hallway of an apartment building known for its vermin, with a thoroughly installed vodka hangover and reeking of pizza-flavored snack treats, be as pleasant as possible. Especially if you are seeking assistance in the forcible...

Read Post

The Turning Point -- or I Never Saw a Playwright Make Out With a Girl in a Parking Lot

(0) Comments | Posted October 2, 2012 | 1:47 PM

A turning point in my writing came before I started taking my writing seriously. I was a freshman at Ball State University, the only school that would take me, and for my first semester I only wanted to take deathly cool classes, because I assumed I would never make it...

Read Post

The Art of Being Dumb

(0) Comments | Posted September 17, 2012 | 4:53 PM

"I need your help... " said the email from the relatively famous writer that I have decided not to identify. "I'm having dinner with Kurt Vonnegut tomorrow night. What do I need to know?" I got this email at an artist's residency on an island off the coast of Maine...

Read Post

What I Talk About When I Talk About Movies with My Dog

(7) Comments | Posted September 6, 2012 | 5:43 PM

"The three things a boy needs growing up are a bicycle, an air rifle, and a dog." My grandfather wrote this in the memoir he published at his local Kinko's before he passed away. This had purpose. My grandfather was raised on a farm and expected to be a farmer,...

Read Post