If you could choose one or the other -- money or happiness -- which one would it be? My good friend -- I'll call her Abby -- has what she calls "a big dilemma." Abby has more than 15 years of experience in the TV biz as a TV reporter for a major national news outlet and producer for a lifestyle cable show. For as long as I've known her (about 14 years) she's always been level headed, pragmatic and the pinnacle of sound judgment and instinct.
Until now.
She's in a "situation" that many hard-working, go-getting, ambitious professionals are experiencing. Now she has a stable, high paying job, at a advertising firm in a big city, the job is pretty easy, she gets a month vacation annually, several of her assignments are glamorous and whisk her off to exotic locations -- but she still is not happy. No, she's not ungrateful -- actually, she's quite the opposite.
She has a perfect job for those on the outside looking in. But the ugly truth is, she works ridiculously long hours, her boss is "a rude jerk" and her not-so-nice co-workers -- let's just say they're not exactly who she'd hang out with during happy hour.
Recently, the cable channel she was laid off from called her back and offered her a producing job. A job where many of her friends who she loves and adores still work. Sweeeet, perfect, right?! Well, problem is, the job offers more than $30k less than the trendy ad agency job -- and this job offer will expire in a year, which means she'll be waiting in line at the unemployment office once again, this time next year, for Uncle Sam to send the bimonthly checks for $450 before taxes.
What to do? What would you do? My suggestion -- follow your heart, not the money.
I'm not saying, money doesn't buy you happiness -- because having a nice home, luxury car, being able to take vacations, shopping, eating out and not having to stress about buying an extra hot, grande caramel macchiato is a good feeling. Trust me, I know. I used to have a nice paying job as a TV Reporter. I was making good money, living the high life in a big city with the high skyscrapers to match it -- but I was miserable.
I didn't find true happiness and balance until I was given the gift of being laid off. I'm not going to lie, the lifestyle adjustments and change post-lay off stung. Badly. It wasn't until I decided to stop my job search, live meagerly for a year and give back to the community through what became my non-profit inspirational website, Go Inspire Go (GIG), that I found true happiness. I'm not going to sugarcoat this -- it's a lot of work building a startup with an all-volunteer base. I work long hours, and it is very hard finding startup grants in these tough economic times. But I am hopeful and inspired by the stories and trust that the funds will come, eventually.
Spiritual guru, Dr. Wayne Dyer produced an amazing film, Ambition to Meaning that resonated with my professional career. The message: We are all born and bred into a society of ambition, not the good kind of ambition (because ambition is a good thing) rather, the type of ambition that feeds the big ego -- the ego that wants a big title, big house, big car, etc. But all this means nothing if it is not connected to meaning in your life. When I watched this film two years ago, I had what Oprah calls a "Aha Moment," when I realized that it wasn't all about me, myself and I. Rather it was about us -- about community. The powerful experiences, stories and connections I've created through GIG are priceless.
In the end, this may not seem like a big dilemma, perhaps, until you're faced with it. Sure, it's great that, in a time where jobs are scarce, Abby has choices, doesn't have kids to feed and the decision won't mean that she'll be out on the streets -- however, this is a life decision and lesson that may young professionals I know are facing. How much could someone pay you to be happy? What does happiness mean to you and why?
I've been to many funerals in my short life (four family members died in eight months) and I can truly say, through experience, that no one will stand up during your eulogy and say, "(fill in a name here) was the best worker, who never missed a day of work, was diligent and always came in under budget." Trust me. You won't be able to take your mansion, yacht or savings -- Instead, what you'll take away and what people will remember are the experience, what you're leaving behind that makes the community and world better.
Are you making your mark? Living your meaning? Is that a Dyer phrase? It's very nice!! I hope you are and Abby will -- and if you aren't I hope this blog post will inspire you -- or at least give you a nudge -- to wake up, take the steps, and make the right decisions personal or professional, for which you'll be remembered. So what should Abby do? I'm sure she'll be able to have her coffee (extra hot caramel macchiato) and drink it, too.
What to do if you're faced with this "situation."
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My suggestion to Abby is, stick it out for awhile longer, and find another permanent job that pays decent. The place she used to work isn't the only place where there is good management and good people. She should do her homework first.
If I were Abby, I would tough it out in the unhappy, but well-paying job for a few years, live like she had gone back to the happy, but $30,000 less job, and save the extra cash until she is in a stable-enough financial position to pursue what truly makes her happy.
For me it was more like, "how little could your boss pay you to do unspeakable evil?" I worked for a multinational insurance company, then a huge regional bank--both in customer service--and my wages kept falling while the demands of the jobs became more and more insane, even though I was 'excelling' by their standards.
For instance, at the bank, as a CSR, I started with a monthly 'sales goal' or $100,000. Two years later that same goal was hiked to $750,000, then $1 million. That's what I had to bring in just to not get fired. I was making $12/hr. Most of what we 'sold' no one should buy. Basically they just took money from stupid people, and I helped them. That bank failed in 2008.
So anyway, I left to write. I make way less money. I have no benefits. I don't care. I will not work for another financial institution again, not unless they change dramatically. I'll pull weeds or wash floors first. At some point, you have to take some personal responsibility for this nonsense.
Then I went back to what always worked for me. Get a hard job, with a hard boss, who pays well -- and put your nose to the grindstone. You see -- that's why they call it work. If it was making you happy, it wouldn't be work...it would be fun. And fun is something you pay for...not the other way round.
i don't know that i'm externally successful because of this, but i am content. my work is neither 'work' nor 'fun'. it is my life's work, it is why i am here and breathing, and if i cannot do it then there is no point in me being here or breathing.
Much more importantly, never sell your time for money.
http://www.squidoo.com/101-ways-to-not-lose-your-mind-when-unemployed