When I was 36 years old, I was successfully leading my family's auto parts business, I was well-respected by my community, I had a wonderful wife and son... and I also suffered a nervous breakdown. Yes, at that point in my life, I enjoyed what I did and was truly proud of my successes, but I was also pushing myself too hard and prioritizing the wrong things... and eventually, it all caught up with me.
As horrific as it was, my breakdown was actually also my breakthrough. It was an in-your-face wake-up call that forced me to realize that I was driving myself too hard, and for the wrong reasons. I finally had to say, "Enough is enough! I am done destroying myself and ruining my life!" Admitting to myself that my former way of life wasn't working was the beginning of my road to recovery and true happiness.
I have come to realize that how happy and fulfilled you are is largely under your control, and that it has less to do with success and accomplishments than you might think. I believe that most people are experiencing many -- if not all -- of the stressors that led to my breakdown, so please don't wait until you, too, reach a breaking point to make changes in your life. I'm totally convinced now that true happiness is a possibility for everyone, so I'm asking you to take the lessons I have learned to heart.
Here are the 15 life lessons I learned:
You Have To Choose And Prioritize Happiness -- It Doesn't Just Happen
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If you subscribe to the belief that your happiness is wholly dependent on what happens to you, you'll always be dissatisfied. The truth is, your fulfillment largely depends on the choices you make: how you see the world, what you allow to influence you, what you focus on, and how you react to circumstances, regardless of whether they're good or bad. In other words, it's not what happens to you; it's how you look at what happens to you.
If you want to make a dent in your stress levels, you have to make choosing happiness a priority every day. With all of the responsibilities on our plates, nothing is likely to happen unless we specifically focus on it. So make happiness one of the two or three priorities you absolutely must accomplish each day.
To remind yourself, put a note where you can see it -- maybe on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. And if that sounds selfish, it's not. If you're extremely stressed or become depressed because of the way you're living your life, you're hurting many more people than just yourself. And what's more important than teaching your kids to be happy? Always remember that children learn by example. If they see you living a harried, stressed life, that's the pattern their lives will follow as well...and their children's after them, and so on.
If you subscribe to the belief that your happiness is wholly dependent on what happens to you, you'll always be dissatisfied. The truth is, your fulfillment largely depends on the choices you make: how you see the world, what you allow to influence you, what you focus on, and how you react to circumstances, regardless of whether they're good or bad. In other words, it's not what happens to you; it's how you look at what happens to you.
If you want to make a dent in your stress levels, you have to make choosing happiness a priority every day. With all of the responsibilities on our plates, nothing is likely to happen unless we specifically focus on it. So make happiness one of the two or three priorities you absolutely must accomplish each day.
To remind yourself, put a note where you can see it -- maybe on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. And if that sounds selfish, it's not. If you're extremely stressed or become depressed because of the way you're living your life, you're hurting many more people than just yourself. And what's more important than teaching your kids to be happy? Always remember that children learn by example. If they see you living a harried, stressed life, that's the pattern their lives will follow as well...and their children's after them, and so on.
You Have To Choose And Prioritize Happiness -- It Doesn't Just Happen
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If you subscribe to the belief that your happiness is wholly dependent on what happens to you, you'll always be dissatisfied. The truth is, your fulfillment largely depends on the choices you make: how you see the world, what you allow to influence you, what you focus on, and how you react to circumstances, regardless of whether they're good or bad. In other words, it's not what happens to you; it's how you look at what happens to you.
If you want to make a dent in your stress levels, you have to make choosing happiness a priority every day. With all of the responsibilities on our plates, nothing is likely to happen unless we specifically focus on it. So make happiness one of the two or three priorities you absolutely must accomplish each day.
To remind yourself, put a note where you can see it -- maybe on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. And if that sounds selfish, it's not. If you're extremely stressed or become depressed because of the way you're living your life, you're hurting many more people than just yourself. And what's more important than teaching your kids to be happy? Always remember that children learn by example. If they see you living a harried, stressed life, that's the pattern their lives will follow as well...and their children's after them, and so on.
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About the Author:
Todd Patkin grew up in Needham, Massachusetts. After graduating from Tufts University, he joined the family business and spent the next eighteen years helping to grow it to new heights. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy. Todd lives with his wonderful wife, Yadira, their amazing son, Josh, and two great dogs, Tucker and Hunter.
About the Book:
Finding Happiness: One Man's Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and--Finally--Let the Sunshine In (StepWise Press, 2011, ISBN: 978-0-9658261-9-8, $19.95,www.findinghappinessthebook.com) is available at bookstores nationwide, from major online booksellers, and at www.findinghappinessthebook.com.
When I was 36 years old, I was successfully leading my family's auto parts business, I was well-respected by my community, I had a wonderful wife and son... and I also suffered a nervous breakdown. Ye...
When I was 36 years old, I was successfully leading my family's auto parts business, I was well-respected by my community, I had a wonderful wife and son... and I also suffered a nervous breakdown. Ye...
Your shopping list is growing ever-longer, it's getting dark earlier and earlier, a mountain of greeting cards awaits your attention and the family feuds just...
I am no apologist for either Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung but "A Dangerous Method" was a petty, if not perverse, rendition of a profound moment in the intellectual and social history of the Western world.
When I tested positive in the spring of 2005, it felt like the end of the world. HIV was this boogieman that I had been taught to hate and fear since before I really understood how sex worked, and suddenly this monster was inside me.
You will lose your job. You will have your heart broken. The person you admired will disappoint you. You will make mistakes that you'll regret. You will fall. And you will get up. Life's curveballs are inevitable, therefore position yourself so that the "getting up" part is not so crippling.
Although a huge number of men and women are gripped in the tendrils of depression - up to 4% of men and 5% of women according to Samaritans - it can still be a social faux pas for some. A factor of embarrassment can force people to suffer in silence, which in today's society shouldn't be occurring as regularly as it does.
In my study of happiness, I've labored to identify its fundamental principles. Because I get a tremendous kick out of the numbered lists that pop up throughout Buddhism, I decided to dub these fundamental principles as my Eight Splendid Truths.
Everyone needs to connect with Nature. All that lives is part of Nature and Nature is part of you. Nature is the source of all life, beauty, wonder, knowledge....
No one needs religion, in fact, religion is bad for you, especially if you are a woman or a child.
virginoliveoilisyummy: Everyone needs to connect with Nature. All that lives is
I wasn't planning on reading the article because frankly the nervous breakdown headline scared me - however, I do live with anxiety on a daily basis. I like the positive tone and practical aspects. Two things that were very enlightening: be happy everyday and be present. Great advice. I get lots of exercise and eat right, which I think keep anxiety to a manageable level. God and/or a higher power - absolutely. Overall, a fantastic article. Thank you!
newsforlife: I wasn't planning on reading the article because frankly the
Really great article! A few things I would add, people don't get enough sleep either by choice or from unknown sleep apnea. Some people may have hidden food allergies, medical issues like low thyroid or other hormones, heavy metals or toxins from the environment, eating fake food, etc., can all interfere with brain chemistry. So being proactive with your health is just as important as the other things you mentioned.
wanamoka: Really great article! A few things I would add, people
I am a therapist. In my intake one of the most important questions I ask my clients is whether or not they exercise. Not surprisingly, most of the individuals who come to my practice do not regularly exercise. I strongly recommend they take up a workout routine as part of their treatment. And though all my evidence is anecdotal, I would say those who do best with therapy are those who participate in exercise.
Admittedly, those who take up my exercise advice are also the most willing to accept and embrace the changes they desire to make.
JMilton1976: I am a therapist. In my intake one of the
No one needs religion, in fact, religion is bad for you, especially if you are a woman or a child.
http://www.treppenlift.ag
Admittedly, those who take up my exercise advice are also the most willing to accept and embrace the changes they desire to make.