THE BLOG
08/28/2013 03:52 pm ET Updated Oct 28, 2013

The Goth Back to School Shopping List

So you're a goth.

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And you're going back to school pretty soon.

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Consume these capitalist goods to become Alpha Goth.

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Forgo a backpack and get this coffin shoulder bag. Literature is dead anyway and your books will fit nicely.

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Image: Ebay

"Death In June" tshirt to remind you there's hope.

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Image: C Mega Mall

Everyone knows goths hate milk and are into re-appropriating corporate propaganda.

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Image: Zazzle

See also: "Goth Milk?"

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Get the pen that writes in your own blood for those class notes.

It's almost as if this laptop skin was made specifically for you and nobody else.

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Image: CafePress

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Light one of these up and your test stress will be goth with the wind.

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Image: Etsy

Taking notes isn't goth but your angst has to be written down somewhere.

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Image: Etsy

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You're going to need locker decoration. How about a Springbok Skull?

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Image: The Evolution Store

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Or just show up with a unicorn skull on your head.

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Image: Etsy

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You'll need to stay hydrated for those long tests and it's going to take more than just that goth milk.

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Image: Etsy

But of course your BIGGEST/darkest back to school need is that delicious-looking poison apple for the teacher.

You're now ready for the Goth University.

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Image: Zazzle

Good luck on your first day!

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