THE BLOG
10/17/2013 01:06 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Drag Obstacle Course

Tom Bartolomei

In my humble opinion, Vivian occupies an interesting position in the world of drag. She is a queen who does not compete, does not have a drag family, is older than most of the other newer queens, and is a big girl. Each factor has its own challenge, but add them all together and you have one large obstacle course. Vivian has been navigating this obstacle course for the last four years, and I don't know how she does it.

Yes, I'm sure every queen has her own challenges that she must overcome, but I'm not married to those queens, so I don't see the toll that it may or may not take on them. What I see is the love of my life having to fight for everything she has, and trust me, she is a fighter. I have no doubt that she will succeed on her terms and achieve what she wants.

Honestly, most times, I feel that she can't catch a break. Whenever it feels like the tide is turning in her favor, bam! Something happens, and we are right back to square one. The worst part of it is that we never know exactly why the tide seemed to have turned back.

There are times that I feel like there are unwritten rules that drag queens play by, and each queen has her own set. So unless you are part of one of the drag families or pageant systems, you have no way of knowing exactly what those rules are. I guess Vivian ends up breaking rules but really doesn't know when, why or which ones. In the end we're left guessing.

Vivian's age doesn't help either, because -- let's be honest -- when you reach our age, you are pretty much set in your ways and too old to change. Plus, I feel, on some level, that drag is a young person's game. What I mean by that is not that you can't be older and perform drag, but that it really is something that should be entered into at a younger age. This allows you to learn the unsaid rules and make mistakes if needed and learn from them. If you start older, it's harder to do that, in my opinion.

Not competing in pageants hurts, because I feel like currently, unless you have a crown or are at least competing, no one takes a queen seriously. I personally couldn't disagree more with that. Vivian takes drag extremely seriously. She doesn't perform to make money, gain popularity or prove a point. She performs because it brings her joy, and to me that is the most important reason. Trust me, if Vivian wanted to compete and set her mind to it, I have no doubt that she would win whatever pageant she entered.

I would say that being a big girl is the only challenge that has worked for Vivian. We took Vivian's size and turned it into a positive. Vivian is known for her extreme figure, and if you haven't seen it, trust me, her figure is extreme. She has the perfect hourglass figure with a 46-inch waist!

So, yes, Vivian faces challenges every day when it comes to drag, but trust me when I tell you that this will not stop her. So sit back and watch her run this obstacle course, because I have no doubt that she is going to crush it.

To stay up to date on Vivian running the obstacle course, visit Diary of a Drag Queen's Husband.

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