Are you finding it hard to focus? When you think about the possibility of McCain winning next week do you feel lost and bewildered at what that would mean to your life? Do you feel like your head is about to explode?
Are you hysterically ambivalent? Do you go between watching and reading every single word spoken and written about the election, following every poll and poll of poll and poll of poll of poll...and never wanting to hear another pundit ever again, even Rachel Maddow?
Me too. Well maybe not Rachel Maddow.
Do you go from one frame of mind to another? From envisioning an America which has just elected the first African-American in its history and is in the hands of someone who knows what he's doing...with some hope for the future...to envisioning an America who has just voted out of fear and hatred and believed all of the lies...again?
It's a good thing I live in Oregon, where an Obama victory is assured. And if the worst happens, it'll be a good place to stay.
I usually have an election-night party at my house. I may not. In 2004, everyone came over enthused. Remember the exit polls? Remember how you felt when it went the other way?
Think of that times, oh say, a hundred million this year.
Get a grip on yourself, D'Antoni.
I voted last week. In Oregon we have vote-by-mail. I won't debate the merits of that method, but when I filled out the ballot, I didn't have the feeling I thought I would have voting for Obama. I mean, I cried during his acceptance speech in Denver, didn't you?
I made a mistake while voting. My wife and I were sitting at the kitchen table filling out our ballots and I accidentally signed her ballot envelope by mistake. Even though it had her name plainly printed on it.
After absorbing the deserved abuse, I suggested we take our ballots to the election board and make sure everything was Kosher. It was. But instead of handing them to the man behind the counter like I thought I would, the African-American man behind the counter pointed to a light blue plastic box with a slot in the top.
I suddenly realized what I was going to do. I turned to my wife and asked if she wanted to put her own in. She did. It was obvious why.
My action of dropping my ballot in the box was quick but it seemed like I was moving in slow-motion and I filled up and flushed with emotion. I just got the same feeling typing this.
I felt like maybe my life had meaning after all. Maybe in some minuscule way all of the things I had done...written...put on TV...said on the radio...to try to promote love and understanding had somehow paid off.
And now I think, if McCain wins, will that all be washed away and destroy any remaining hope I had for America?
Like I said, can somebody make this election be over?
You feel that way too?
For more posts on Election Anxiety, click here.