(Reouterz) Chicago - Shocking even Herself, Oprah! Winfrey announced she will soon end her earthly talk-show reign in preparation for Her Ascension.

The publisher of O magazine who is known as "The Most Powerful Person In The Free World," Ms. Winfrey quoted Herself, saying She is leaving Her show "in...

(Reutrez) Washington D.C.

In a rare glimpse behind the closed-doors of The Federal Reserve, Chairman Ben Bernanke
released a snapshot of the economy they have been looking at for months.

"As you can plainly see, the economy is showing a "V" shape -- and there is activity...

THE LLOYD's Prayer

Our Chairman,
Who Art At Goldman,
Blankfein Be Thy Name.
The Rally's Come. God's Work Be Done
On Earth As There's No Fear Of Correction.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Gains,
And Bankrupt Our Competitors
As You Taught Lehman...

(Reuterz: Rome)

L'Osservatore Romano is reporting that Goldman Sachs is indeed Doing God's work, and His Former Holiness Joseph Ratzinger has confirmed the unsolicited hostile takeover. Writing under his pen name Benedict XVI, Ratzinger verified that total control of the popular religion has been transferred to Goldman Sachs and His...

(Rooters) Washington D.C.

Man Bites Dog!

In a bold-faced brazen move against their master, on Friday the Obama administration rejected a proposal by Goldman Sachs to buy as much as $1 billion in tax credits from Fannie Mae, saying the deal would have amounted to a net loss for taxpayers.

My partner, David Bohnett, and I sponsored the Wednesday afternoon White House reception honoring President Obama's signing of the Hate Crimes Bill. The crowd was a noble and dignified collection of invincible fighters. GLSEN's executive director Dr. Eliza Byard was there. So were the Shepards, James Byrd's proud sisters, and...

My friend and author Gregory Hinton wrote this account of what happened to him yesterday. I suspect like gays the Jewish community is expected to be "tolerant" of first amendment hate-speak, but its venom stings. I dare not think too much about the protesters, instead I'm focusing on...

Friday night I attended the GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) fifth annual RESPECT awards. Their mission statement means GLSEN is in the schools educating teachers, principals, parents, and students respect for diversity. Since 1990 GLSEN has helped schools and students set up "Safe Zones" where bullied...

The children of the sixties learned about the danger of guns before we learned the alphabet. My first indelible memory was the assassination of JFK, then Malcolm X, the University of Texas massacre, Dr. King, RFK, Kent State, Gerald Ford, and even the Manson murders. Throughout the Vietnam War, Walter...

Before Harry Houdini's 1926 death, the master magician promised his wife Bess that he would return to her from beyond the grave. Every year at the anniversary of Harry's death, Bess held séances at the top of Hollywood's Knickerbocker Hotel. Finally after a decade, her hopeful conjuring stopped. Mrs. Houdini...

Don Blanquito is a man possessed. The tough guy with a million dollar smile was born an Angeleano but Rio pours from his eyes.

Rio is energy. At night, walking through the streets the...

When OJ Simpson was acquitted of murder charges, it seemed only a video of the actual murder would have convinced the out-of-touch jurors of his brutal crime. Kimjongilia, the new documentary directed by...

Hollywood's contribution to art is indelible. Like a great painting, film demands we stop, sit, and experience the celluloid humanity unfolding before us. Film stirs emotions, viewpoints, ideas, and memories. Film might even enrich our lives more broadly and dramatically than music.

Great film teaches us about the human...

For me, loneliness and daytime television have always gone hand-in-hand. As a metronome for the morning, I'll switch the TV on as I prepare for the day. Some afternoons I find myself standing...

Summers by the beach -- the sun, salt, sand, and surf pounding to the sound of a scratchy transistor radio as it baked in the heat. Baby-oiled bodies burnished iodine-red by the summer sunshine of adolescence sizzling on the sand. The first summer drove I became intoxicated by "the shore"....

Pottery Barn Launches Hard Times Lighting Collection!

(Reuterz) San Francisco

Recognizing the recessionary trends toward increased alcoholic consumption and recycling,
Pottery Barn has jumped on the bandwagon catering to those who habitually...

(Reuterz) Washington D.C. -- Congress has approved the "Cash For Clunkers" Bill with 135 pages of criteria that must be met to qualify for the rebates.

The "CARS" program (named after the recently disappointing Pixar animated feature) is intended as an incentive to owners of 25-year-old sheet metal who...

L'Osservatore Romano is reporting that The Vatican has declared Goldman Sachs to be The Holy Ghost. The revelation has inspired hordes of the religious faithful to descend upon the firm's New York headquarters and drop to their knees - a position Goldman Sachs brought the rest of the world to...

New York - The "New York Times" is reporting that Goldman Sachs has completed its acquisition of the Atlantic Ocean, stunning the other remaining investment bank. An overpaid spokesperson for the firm has confirmed the story to The Times, in exchange for "above the fold" placement of his daughter's wedding...

We live in a society that is bent on "safe." Germs, we are warned, are everywhere; on our floors, cabinets, walls, dashboards, air, and hands. Watch afternoon TV and you're attacked by ads for cleaners, disinfectants, and disposable "this and thats" -- all of which are designed to keep you...